Thought for the Week: Abigail Maxwell stands up for her self

‘Let us be gentle with each other.’

Quakers believe there is a Light in every human being, which we also call ‘that of God’. My other spiritual or psychological groups call this a ‘self’, or ‘true self’. I believe the true self, or inner child, which these groups seek to liberate, is the same as the Light. Calling it ‘Light’, or ‘of God’, we might think it good or truthful. It is each person’s unique, idiosyncratic goodness and truth. But sometimes our willingness to judge might prevent us seeing it clearly. We are influenced by the surrounding culture.

I seek my redeemed self, created in God’s image. Others might hear ‘self’ and think of selfishness, a monster like Freud’s id. But I see it as pro-social, seeking good for me and my community. It will find a way to meet my needs in that community, with people who have different gifts but similar human needs. Why do we not live from that Light, expressing it all the time? If there is a Light in me, what else is there?

I name the other part ‘ego’. That part seems to be what I most easily consciously experience as ‘me’. A leading might come from Light or self, and it feels as if it comes from the unconscious, or from God. Spiritual growth, or psychological healing, comes from bringing out that Light or self, and acting more in attunement with it.

The purpose of ego is to express that true self, in relation with society and the world. But sometimes our egos are distorted in childhood. As a child I suppressed self, and became a people-pleaser. The problem is not pleasing others, of course, but neglecting to please oneself.

There is a part in me which is a performer, which likes an audience. I find this part good. As a child I was discouraged from ‘showing off’. Now, my spiritual or psychological groups emphasise bringing forth self or Light because the egos our childhoods have created have crushed or distorted our true selves. But the Light will not be crushed forever, and we have spiritual or healing experiences when we become consciously aware of Light, and ego is changed. At first, such experiences can feel overwhelming. Some people have not had these experiences, and their Light remains unexpressed.

When we answer that of God in others, George Fox said, it blesses us. Pure, healthy, selves relate to one another, increasing blessing for all. Perhaps ego disappears – though ego, the conscious self, can be healthy too, no longer suppressing Light but communicating it.

Let us be gentle with each other. I see through a glass darkly, and in opening to the Light of others’ selves I see more clearly. Some of those selves are crushed and oppressed by fear and hurt, and inner conflict paralyses them. Each person’s self is different: our diversity enriches us.

Salvation happens when the self is brought forth and realised, or ‘born again’. This healing, growth and flowering is a continuous process: we are justified, sanctified, glorified.

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