‘I heard a voice as clear as any I have ever heard – but nobody heard it apart from me.’ Photo: Presentation at the Temple, Giovanni Bellini, c1460
Word to the wise: Tony D’Souza hears voices at Christmas
‘But I did not fear, because I had God’s promise.’
I am an old man now. My beard is white and the strength of my youth is long gone. There was a time when I bounded up the broad stone stairs of the temple two steps at a time, but now I can barely manage it in ten minutes – even with a stick.
‘But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint’ (Isaiah 40:31).
Many, many things happened in all those years of waiting. How can I tell you of them? And what good would it do? All the usual things. There were wars and rumours of wars. The economy thrived – then it failed. People got married, people got divorced, People died, others were born. Time passed as it ever has, and when enough of it has passed, people give it a name and call it ‘History’. But let me tell you this: as time goes by, it gets faster. When I was young, time moved slowly. Now, I live through one winter and then another arrives quickly upon its heels. For old people, the only thing that flies with wings like an eagle is time.
‘For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end – it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay’ (Habakkuk 2:3).
The promise came so many years ago. I was in my thirties and still busy trying to provide for my family. Even though I was completely immersed in the business world, I continued to pray every day as my parents had taught me, sometimes more by force of habit than anything else. I prayed and praised God, grateful for every good thing.
Then the promise came. Out of the blue – out of nowhere. I heard a voice. I remember it as if it was yesterday. I was bending over my ledger and entering figures when I heard it. My pen stood still above the parchment. I heard a voice as clear as any I have ever heard – but nobody heard it apart from me. The promise was for me alone. And when I heard it, although I did not know it, the years of waiting had begun.
‘I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word, I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning’ (Psalm 130:5-6).
I wanted to tell somebody, but it was hopeless. Who would understand? I decided to tell an old friend, someone I thought I could trust. When I told him he looked at me as if I had gone mad.
‘God talks to You!’ he said, and laughed. ‘God spoke to Moses and the Prophets – and now He speaks to you! Ha, ha, ha!’
That’s what happened. I asked him not to tell anybody, and, to his credit, he kept his word. But I never mentioned it again to anybody. I learned to keep my tongue still and never to speak about such things.
‘Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths’ (Proverbs 3:5-6).
The years of waiting continued. I carried on as before, going to work and then going to the temple. Some people began to take me for a fool. My business associates sometimes took advantage of me by cheating me (the same one I trusted with the promise stole the most from me). I knew what was happening all along, but I did nothing because there was no need for me to do anything. The promise was far more important to me.
‘Do not say, “I will repay evil”; wait for the Lord, and he will deliver you’ (Proverbs 20:22).
As I grew old my health began to fail. First a kidney stone, then an irregular heartbeat. The doctors came and went, each as ineffective (and expensive) as the one before. Then, two years ago, I had a stroke which left me completely paralysed down the right side of my body for six months. But I did not fear, because I had God’s promise.
‘O my Strength, I will watch for you, for you, O God, are my fortress’ (Psalm 59:9).
Then, one day, it happened. At midday, I suddenly felt I should go to the temple even though it was raining and I never usually went until the afternoon. I went and sat on my seat beside the wall in the open courtyard. I saw them come in. A young couple with a baby. They walked straight up to me as if they knew me (and in a way, I suppose they did). I took the babe into my arms, held it up to God and sang this song: ‘Sovereign Lord, as you have promised, you may now dismiss your servant in peace. For my eyes have seen your salvation, which you have prepared in the sight of all nations: a light for revelation to the Gentiles, and the glory of your people Israel.’
I do not know, even now, where the words came from. The child’s mother and father, simple country people, marvelled at what came out of my mouth. Later, I told the mother this: ‘This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too.’
That surprised me too – where the words come from, I mean. Then, just at that moment, my friend Anna appeared. Anna was a prophetess. She had been a widow for sixty years and spent all day in the temple praying and fasting. She took one look at the child and knew immediately. She gave thanks to God and told everyone about the child – how it was the promise of redemption. After a while, the young couple made their offering (as they were poor, it was only two pigeons) and then they left to go home – Nazareth, I think it was. That is exactly what happened. His promise to me had been fulfilled.
‘Behold, this is our God; we have waited for him, that he might save us. This is the Lord; we have waited for him; let us be glad and rejoice in his salvation.’ (Isaiah 25:9).
Not one, but two promises were kept that day. God had promised me that I would not die until I saw with my own eyes the salvation of the world, and that promise was kept. The second promise was much greater. The child I held in my hands is the promise of salvation for all men – Gentile or Jew. God gave the promise to everyone. Now it is up to you. Think of me, Simeon, who waited and prayed for so long. I pray that you also may be worthy of the promise.
