Why am I a Quaker?
Linda Murgatroyd takes up the challenge and considers the question ‘What can you say?’
Isn’t it interesting how controversial the ‘I’m a Quaker: ask me why?’ badges seem to be! Some of us seem to find it so difficult to give a positive response to the question. More generally we often make negative, rather than positive, statements when asked what Quakers believe, or how the Society is run (‘We don’t all believe …’, ‘We have no paid priests’, and so on). The important question that came to George Fox in Ulverston in 1652 was ‘What canst thou say?’ not ‘What canst thou not say?’ Early Friends clearly felt that they had a responsibility to tell others about the Way they had found and I’m sure that this helped them clarify what they could say.
Signs and badges
I imagine that the first generation of Friends were well-practised in explaining why they were Quakers. They didn’t need to wear badges: their behaviour, speech and/or dress made this clear enough, and in an era when almost everyone went to church on Sunday, the local community would find out soon enough who was worshipping with Quakers. However, the outward signs of our Quakerism need to follow our inner guide, today just as in William Penn’s time. For him it was more a case of not wearing a fashion item – his sword – than of wearing an additional badge, but the issue was much the same. Though some Friends cringe at the idea of wearing a badge, the consequences of ‘coming out’ as a Quaker today are far less severe than in the seventeenth century.
Badges (or printed T-shirts, bags and such items) are a clear outward sign we have of our faith, and by wearing them we are at least advertising the fact that Quakers are real people. We’re alive. Here. Now. So they can be a most powerful form of outreach.
I wonder whether we feel the real challenge is living up to the badge? Somehow we may believe that we are not ‘good’ enough? The public image of Friends includes knowledge of some famous Quakers who made a great impact on the world, so showing people that we are diverse, ordinary people (though with this extraordinary Way) is important if other ordinary people are to consider Quakerism as a possible path for themselves. And that includes not necessarily having perfect answers all the time.
Trying it out
So, I welcome the badges, and the challenge to us that they represent. We must not let our humility get in the way of developing confident Quaker voices. Why not try living adventurously by wearing one? Fascinating conversations may result, though you may be disappointed that in practice nobody usually responds or even seems to notice.
I am practising possible responses to the question ‘Why I am a Quaker?’ so that if ever a stranger in a lift or a queue does ask me the question they will learn something positive about Quakers, even if I never see them again. We all have our own reasons for being Friends; and trying to distil a twenty-word answer is an interesting exercise. Perhaps some birthright Friends find it harder to give a reason for being a Quaker than those of us who have found our own path to Quakerism and, if so, the exercise might be even more helpful: why do they remain a Friend?
I’m sure that my own response would depend on the context and occasion, but it has been helpful to think about what I might say, for example, to a child, to someone from another country, to a colleague, a neighbour or to a personal friend who didn’t know I had become a Quaker. Following the leadings of the Spirit doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t prepare possible responses, and those responses may change over time. But I hope we don’t spend too long worrying about the precise words, otherwise we may remain tongue-tied. Why not just use the words that are natural and right for us? We can talk about the language later, once we have actually made our statements.
Guidance and obedience
My own response would currently be along the lines of: ‘Being a Quaker helps me to find and follow the guidance I feel in my soul and to live from my deepest values’. If I had more time, I might talk about the joy of being part of a seeking, supportive, non-judgmental community, as we open ourselves to God’s guidance (and try and follow it) in our worshipping community and in our whole lives.
Seeking to follow the guidance of the holy spirit is at the very core of Quaker discipline, including our business methods, worship and other spiritual practices. However, I sense that in some Meetings, there is relatively little understanding of its centrality to Quakerism, or of how it can be done. Part of the value of a community of seekers is that, as well providing prayerful and practical support and companionship, our personal leadings can be tested and our habits challenged (lovingly), which can help our souls to grow in truth.
We have some good programmes based around sharing personal experiences, such as Quaker Quest, Becoming Friends, and the ‘Being Quaker, Doing Quaker’ projects. These are important in helping us learn through listening and speaking from a deep place. They also give us practice in speaking about our faith. However, I am convinced that we could do much more as a community to help one another discern and obey such guidance. This would itself strengthen us spiritually and empower us to act as required – in our own lives and beyond.
Why the Religious Society of Friends?
Perhaps, along with reflecting on how being a Quaker affects our personal lives, it would also be helpful for the Yearly Meeting to invite a wide discussion about the underlying purpose of the Religious Society of Friends in Britain, and even to try and come up with a short overall ‘mission statement’ for it (twenty to fifty words?). I have not been able to find one anywhere and I suspect that there is a wide range of views about what the purpose of Britain Yearly Meeting and our Area Meetings are for – as communities and organisations as opposed to just collections of individuals.
Margaret Benefiel’s work on a variety of successful ‘soul-ful’ organisations suggests that a short, clear statement of purpose (or ‘mission statement’) that everyone in the organisation knows and is signed up to is an essential part of keeping the organisation focused on its deeper purpose. A statement of this kind could be a valuable touchstone for decision making within our Society and a clear indicator of what we are about. Even if we aren’t able to agree a form of words, the discussion would be useful. I’m sure it would be a challenging project and it would take some time, but it might help us to find and follow our future path with renewed vitality.
‘I’m a Quaker: ask me why’ badges are available free from the Quaker Centre at Friends House.
Margaret Benefiel’s books, Soul at Work and The Soul of a Leader, are available from the Quaker Bookshop at Friends House.
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