Welcoming all Friends
A Friend writes about the need for action as well as concern
When I moved to South East London I was pleased to discover that my Local Meeting was wheelchair accessible. I have been a member for most of my life, joining as a pre-teen, and have been in a wheelchair for six years. Prior to this I worshipped at both accessible and inaccessible Meetings, and hadn’t considered the extent to which welcoming disabled Friends should be central to our work. Now I wonder what more I could have done to encourage my Meeting to make necessary changes to place elderly and disabled Friends in our actions as well as our thoughts.
The average age of British Friends is increasing, and with age often comes increased disability. Many Friends struggle to rise from their chairs, read small text, hear ministry, or traverse rough ground. A number use wheelchairs – whether for age-related reasons or not.
Many of our beautiful and traditional Meeting houses are not wheelchair accessible. Adapting, for example, Godalming Meeting, which was built in the 1700s, would require extensive, expensive works, an (inherently unreliable) platform lift and a change in the physical character of this beautiful Meeting house. While I would wish that all Meeting houses were accessible to full-time wheelchair users, this isn’t possible – although I feel for the Friends who will have become unable to climb outdoor steps, and thus had to leave their Local Meeting.
For a period I was too ill to attend Meeting for Worship. I was heartened, during this time, by those Friends who came to worship at home with me. I was, similarly, made hopeful by the willingness, within that Meeting, to adapt the Meeting house. If Meetings are waiting until they have a wheelchair user before they decide to adapt their Meeting house, then they are missing out on having wheelchair users to start with. People are unlikely to start attending a Meeting where they cannot enter the door or use the toilet.
Where physical adaption is possible – and within the resources (financial, practical, emotional and spiritual) of the Meeting – it should be undertaken and done properly. There are clear building regulations regarding the minimum gradients and dimensions for access. Work undertaken must be appropriate for future Friends as well as existing attendees.
Welcoming disabled Friends isn’t simply a matter of putting in a ramp and some grab bars. Many Meetings hold regular evening events in the houses of local Friends without having considered that there are Friends who might be unable to access them. I have every faith that were a wheelchair user to ask that an event took place somewhere wheelchair accessible, Friends would endeavour to achieve that, but the onus should not be on the disabled Friend to ask.
It is also worth noting that not everyone who is disabled uses a wheelchair. Access might also mean balancing the needs of a confused Friend, who might start a casual conversation during Meeting for Worship, with Friends who value short ministry and silence.
A Meeting may have to consider, for example, how their start time works for people who require longer to get ready early in the morning, whether everyone can engage with a Business Meeting rota sent by email, whether they have enough large-print documents, if their hearing loops work, or whether their flooring gets dangerously slippery when it rains.
The list of considerations is long, but a starting place might be opening this discussion within your Meeting and listening to the Friends who respond. If there are no disabled Friends in your Meeting, why is that? What resources are you able to make available to ensure that disabled Friends are able to participate fully and completely in the lives of their Local Meetings?
We have much to bring, but only where we’re welcomed and included.
