‘We older folk need young people more than they need us.’

Tony D’Souza went to the national outreach conference with one simple question: ‘Do we want the practice of silence to survive?

Is your Meeting thriving or surviving? How well is it attended? How many of the people who come are over sixty? Is it difficult to fill all the positions required to make the Meeting function, or is it just the same people doing the same jobs year after year?

You may not be interested in answering any of these questions. But if you are interested in the religious practice of silence, some things might bear thinking about. The point is this: our form of worship, unstructured silent worship, tends to be practiced in only a handful of countries, mainly English speaking. But it is a very ancient form of waiting upon God that pre-dates Quakerism by thousands of years. If you care about this, as I do, and you want it to continue for future generations, there are some issues worthy of consideration.

I recently attended the All-Age Outreach Conference run by Britain Yearly Meeting (BYM). It was set in the lovely, leafy surroundings of the Hertfordshire countryside, at High Leigh Conference Centre. The attendance of young children of all ages made the feel of the conference very special.

Almost the first thing I heard after arriving was this: ‘You cannot get people to come if they do not know we exist.’ It set the theme of the conference for me – in fact, it seemed to be the leitmotif for the entire weekend. I’d like to pass on some of the ideas that emerged.

BYM should consider making more of an effort on social media. We are undergoing a revolution in mass media and how it is consumed. Printed newspapers and television are on the way out. The vast majority of young people consume news and entertainment via the internet using smartphones and laptop computers. We ignore these information channels at our peril. If we do not make a concerted effort to put over our message on social media and other internet-based media, we will be ignored by an entire generation. And let’s not mince words here. We older folk need young people more than they need us – and, again, they will not find us if we are invisible. Young people are our future. More of our membership is dying than being born. It is as simple as that.

The good news is that many young people (and people generally) seem to agree with Quaker values. We do not need to hard-sell the ‘spices’ (Simplicity, Peace, Integrity, Community, Equality and Sustainability). All we need to do is to tell people that we believe in these things, and that we attempt to practice them, and they will come.

And here is one of the big questions concerning outreach. In Britain we are not a proselytising faith. That is, we do not actively seek to convert others. We are supposed to ‘let our lives speak’. But it helps if our lives are not whispering inaudibly. One of our current issues is that we are not being identified with the big issues of the day. In contrast, our predecessors were at the cutting edge of social change. For example, Quakers have made hugely significant contributions to prison reform in this country, and were at the forefront of the anti-slavery movement both in England and the USA. Early Quakers had a social influence far beyond their number (only about 20,000 in 1787). In our own time, while many feel a conviction to do something about the huge problems that face us all (such as global warming), we do not hang a Quaker label on an issue and identify ourselves closely with it. Our default action appears to be to form a committee, issue a carefully worded statement, and then return to the comfort of our ordinary lives. Would our predecessors, such as Elizabeth Fry or John Woolman, approve?

We certainly need to be seen as an organisation of integrity to attract people from outside, because that is what makes us visible. But what really gets people to attend Meetings? What gets them to come and keeps them coming back? It is the silence of course. Studies have proved that it is the silence that really gets people to come back. The collected silence is the great outreach specialist. That is why outreach is so important. We need to preserve this form of worship and we can only do that if we preserve Quakerism, the Meeting houses, the tea and biscuits, the whole kit and caboodle.

So, here are the best tips I have to offer for every Meeting to adopt good outreach practices. The good news is that they are all tried and tested in the real world, and they all work.

• Don’t come on too strong. Don’t be over-friendly. This is obvious. Overdoing the friendly welcome will put people off. They will find it creepy.
• Try to remember that the Almighty, in infinite wisdom, gave you two ears but only one mouth. This was for a reason. Listen intently before you speak.
• Ask open questions – that is, ask questions that invite a conversation. Open questions are questions that require more than a just a ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ answer. These might include: ‘Have I seen you here before?’ or ‘Is there any particular reason that you have come here today?’
• Trust your Inner Guide. Everyone is different. Some people may want to talk, others will not. Some people will be perfectly happy if you just give them a piece of literature and leave them alone. Be natural. Don’t force things.
• Be normal. For example, you might have an interest in Dahlias, as one of my Friends does, that is almost obsessive. But do not talk about it the first time you meet someone. Restrain yourself. People might think you are weird.

I have saved the best until last. If you want to do one thing to help outreach it should be this, which I picked up from a visit to Swarthmoor Area Meeting, where all the Meetings I attended were thriving. People of all ages were attending, from infants to OAPs. When I asked about how they had achieved this I was told they made outreach a compulsory item on any Business Meeting agenda held anywhere in the Area Meeting. By this simple step, people were forced to think about outreach every month, and the results were amazing: bring-and-buy sales, jam-making lessons, book sales, tea and cakes on the green, candle making, all kinds of things. This made Quakers more visible in the community, and it was the simple conversations that took place between people that brought people back. It took a few years to achieve, but now, all the Meetings are well attended and are growing.

I see no reason why we cannot achieve the same thing in every Meeting in the country. All that is required is a little imagination and a bit of time. Quakers have so much to offer, and we cannot do that if nobody knows we are here.

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