We need to talk about death
Guest editor Judith Moran introduces this special issue
A group of children were in a workshop in their primary school. ‘What is death?’ they were asked. Easy. The answers came out quickly. Lack of breathing. Lack of movement. Gone. Forever. ‘So, what is life?’ they were asked. Not so easy, of course. The children um-ed and ah-ed and stumbled over their answers. Don’t we all? The Natural Death Centre’s perspective is that: ‘A preparation for dying is a preparation for living’. Our life is finite and to reflect that it will one day end can lead to a greater appreciation of life, a spiritual journey, a desire to seize the day or to smell the roses. Yet, where to begin? There are many matters to consider: practical issues (cremation or burial?) financial matters (what about a will?), concerns about health and illness (do I want my life prolonged as long as possible, or not?), coping with a bereavement (how will I manage?). Big and painful questions. Maybe the greatest challenge is finding a way to talk about these issues openly in the first place?
In his Richard Dimbleby lecture last month, Terry Pratchett, contemplating the possibility of an undignified death given his own Alzheimer’s, spoke movingly of wanting to have a death of his choosing. He reflected that it was only when Richard Dimbleby himself died, in the 1960s, and his family said he had died of cancer, that the taboo over using the c-word started to lift. He felt that now, so many years later, our aversion to death, to the d-word, was starting to shift:‘There is something in the air, an idea whose time is really coming’.
Over recent months, the subject of death, particularly assisted suicide, has received great prominence, with the court cases of two mothers (Frances Inglis and Kay Gilderdale) who ended the lives of their severely disabled adult children. One walked free, one was sentenced to life. Do we understand the legal distinctions in these cases? What are our views of their actions? What would we do?
This week is Dying Matters Awareness Week, a government-funded campaign to engage us all more in thinking – and talking – about death. There are a group of Friends who, for over a year now, have been doing just that and, in this special edition, we will read their latest reflections.
We will learn about a book, Dying to Know, published this week. The subtitle of the book is bringing death to life and that’s the aim of the book – to inspire conversations, reflections and actions regarding ageing, dying and how we wish to be remembered. We will also hear about the motivations of Sarah Wootton, from Dignity in Dying, to pursue the campaign to legalise assisted suicide.
We are looking at what happens after a death. We approach this creatively, reviewing Soul Play, a production set in the moments after a death, as a young man’s soul leaves his body. We also look at this spiritually, by hearing about the immediate aftermath of a bereavement and also practically, with a few resources to guide your thinking further.
And then there is the funeral itself. In the centre pages we unveil Quaker Social Action’s new project, Down to Earth, which will offer a practical and a social intervention for people in east London living on low incomes faced with the daunting task of planning – and paying for – a funeral.
So, in this special edition, we want to take you on an exploratory journey about death, we want to be informative, thought-provoking, maybe even inspirational.
As the illustration prods us: ‘If you knew when it was coming, would you do anything differently? Why wait?’ Why indeed.
Judith is of director of Quaker Social Action and can be contacted at judithmoran@qsa.org.uk
See www.dyingmatters.org for more information about the Awareness Week.
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