‘We certainly got to know the children a little better!’

Still figuring out how to do Children’s Meeting online? Leonora Davies on how they manage in Hampstead

Our children at Hampstead Meeting have been meeting weekly by Zoom, and our young people once a month. The children’s sessions (for our four- to ten-year-olds) are organised from 10.00am for thirty minutes, so that the adults involved are able to join the larger online meeting at 11.00am. Initially, the Children’s Meetings were led on a rota basis by three anchors from our regular pool of adults. We are delighted to say that these have developed, changed and thrived over the weeks and months. The children have adapted well to the online approach and in many cases have been much more adept at the technology than the adults. I have learned a great deal from the children!

From the outset we asked that each child should be accompanied by an adult, though they would be largely in the background. As the Meetings have progressed we have enabled whole families to be involved in the planning and presentation of sessions, bringing everyone together in a positive way and creating a new dimension to our Meetings. At the end of every Meeting we all share a time of stillness and reflection. At the clerk’s invitation we always report back to the adult gathering on our activities, drawing together adults and children just as we do at our face-to-face Meetings. This maintains an important connection.

The Meetings have focused on a wide range of subjects and projects. Initially, that was whatever the leading adult wanted to explore with the children – from issues of the moment such as ‘All things bright and beautiful’, ‘We’ll meet again’ or ‘Rainbows’, to topics that centred on the children themselves, inviting them to bring their favourite poem to read. We were greatly entertained by one child who read us (in character) ‘We all join in’ by Quentin Blake. When we invited the children to bring their favourite song to listen to, we shared a wide range, from rap and jazz to Rusty Rivets and ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’. We certainly got to know them a little better!

Since May, families have been involved in the planning and presentation, and we have been delighted that some of the children have taken the lead. They welcome other children and then introduce and present the topic along with a parent. We have anchored our themes around working through the alphabet, currently up to letter S, too many to list here. Many, though not all, have a Quaker link or link to our Quaker ethos. ‘Dreams’ included listening to an extract from Martin Luther King’s speech and singing ‘We shall overcome’; we followed the journey from Aleppo to London made by a refugee family. Particularly memorable were ‘Origins’ where we were invited to research and talk about a great grandparent or grandparent and how and if that linked to being a Quaker; in L for leadership we listened to the story of Harriet Tubman and learned the moving song ‘The drinking gourd’; in F we heard the story of Florence Nightingale. She was ‘called by God’ and in response to the question about what did this mean, one seven-year-old replied, ‘it means listening to the light’.  An inspiration. As it happens, these three meetings were planned and led by families and presented by the children.

Developing our technological skills has been an interesting challenge – how to share our screens, how to create a PowerPoint presentation, how to present an audiovisual track, and discovering that singing together and music – which is often central to our children’s groups – is difficult to incorporate due to the time lag. We managed to find a way of doing a group online drawing; we have had quizzes which involved the children listening carefully, making notes, and then offering their responses. We found that it is important to actively involve the participants so that they are not just staring at a screen.

In compiling this article, I invited parents, children and other adults for their observations.

‘I like it that it includes the children and parents and that we have time to just talk about what they have been doing, like being introduced to Dylan’s new dog.’

‘The magic of the Children’s Meeting is in the co-creation process… the iterative back and forth between child and adult that had developed over several Meetings. This provided a new opportunity for parents to see their kids in a different role and for children to take on more responsibility.’

‘We have enjoyed the chance to stay connected… the adults have done a brilliant job in keeping the children interested and attending to them as individuals, making them feel heard and valued. Especially as Zoom is not well-suited to spontaneous or empathetic interaction.’
‘I like that the Meetings have given the space to the children to talk about their lives and check in with one another. I think it’s easier for children to lead in a Zoom Meeting because each child has an adult there to help. I loved seeing Dylan blossom into his leadership role and already he has ideas about what to do for our letter T. An added bonus is that it offers a window into each child’s world, usually in their own home’.

‘Imogen told me that talking about God makes her feel funny inside. She likes the idea of children taking the lead and hearing about personal lives. She loves showing her art and chatting to the adults. I am so grateful for these Zoom meetings, despite [her] resistance to attend and talk about love all the time she seems happy afterwards.’

‘Kaihan said he far preferred this interaction compared to other Zoom gatherings. Why? “More fun and games.”’

‘Dylan says “At first I didn’t really want to do it and then I started to enjoy them. I’ve enjoyed the game playing ‘Simon says’. I’ve learned ‘Go Peace’. I feel good about the shared planning and presentation – I liked it because everyone got a turn”.’

We are aware of the drawbacks. These Meetings are not so accessible or appropriate for the youngest of our children. We have encouraged parents to bring their little ones to say ‘Hello’ at the end of the Meeting and some have joined the main Meeting for the last ten minutes. Similarly, it hasn’t worked as well for the young people’s group. One parent offered a comment from a teenager, that ‘somehow an organised thing like this feels “cringy”’.

In the first of these Meetings on 5 April I sang a song familiar to our children called ‘I’m still singing’. ‘Sing me on a journey… sometimes I laugh, sometimes I cry. I can fall, I can fly and I’m still singing. So the journey goes by and I’m still singing, I laugh and I cry and I’m still singing. Say hello or goodbye and I’m still singing.’ 

Both adults and children have travelled on this journey together and we will continue for the foreseeable future.

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