Waiting for the last bus
Nick Wilde reviews a consideration of life and death
In Richard Holloway’s book A Little History of Religion, in a chapter called ‘Friends’, he calls George Fox ‘one of the most attractive figures in the history of religion’ and concludes by saying that: ‘The Society of Friends may be one of the smallest denominations in the world but its influence is enormous.’
As Quakers, therefore, his latest book Waiting for the Last Bus: Reflections on Life and Death (originally a five-part series on Radio 4 in 2016) that considers the approach of death with calmness and interest, is likely to speak to many of us. This is partly because of the respect for Friends that the broadcaster, writer and former head of the Anglican Church in Scotland has and also because he shares the doubts that many of us have.
He seeks to assure us that death is not to be feared but accepted, and we should approach it with a light and tender hand rather than ‘rage, rage against the dying of the light’, as Dylan Thomas put it, or emulate the artist Dora Carrington’s grief at the death of Lytton Strachey, whom she could not live without.
Richard Holloway uses many quotes from poets Philip Larkin, T S Eliot, Gerard Manley Hopkins and Alfred Tennyson (to name but four), and other writers, novelists and philosophers.
He recalls his joy of cinema and the many funerals he has taken, welcoming the celebration of life rather than the rigid reading of the funeral service. He admits to being a fan of John Wayne who, on his deathbed, surrounded by drugs and flowers and forced smiles, said: ‘Let’s go!’
Richard Holloway has sat with people as they have died and shared the grief of those they have left behind. He writes: ‘Grief is shattering, but it can be survived if we let ourselves experience it. It has to be done, not bypassed, muffled or diverted.’ He describes how those who are dying can help, not by organising their passing and its aftermath, but by letting family and friends know that they are loved.
I liked the story about the man who insisted on no eulogy. It seems that ‘he couldn’t be bothered to turn up for his own funeral’.
Richard Holloway has a tenacious hold on faith. His bestselling autobiography, Leaving Alexandria: A Memoir of Faith and Doubt, expresses this, and in Waiting for the Last Bus he reflects on similar themes.
This life is not a preparation for the next one. It has to be lived and lived for now – not to ensure a future in heaven. The author lives with his personal doubt within his own church. As Quakers, we seem to be able to hold the theism/nontheism dichotomy within our faith – they sit side-by-side.
Richard Holloway says we should talk more and be open about death. However, he does not mention the growth of Death Cafés. Quakers, through the work of Quaker Concern Around Dying and Death, and now Quaker Life, are more open about them – as is the Church of England with its ‘GraveTalk’ cards, which are designed to help people start thinking and talking about dying, death and funerals.
Waiting for the Last Bus is a welcome addition to the increasing number of books on end of life and is an illuminating and engaging read.
I heard Richard Holloway speak on A Little History of Religion, in Edinburgh in 2016. While he signed my copy, I said that I liked his chapter on Quakers. He replied: ‘I could be a Quaker if they had high mass.’
We may not be able to be that vibrant, but we can surely be ‘open to new light’ from this particular source.
Waiting for the Last Bus: Reflections on Life and Death by Richard Holloway is published by Canongate Books at £14.99.
