Truth and integrity

Sarah Deakin considers truth and trust in public affairs

I find it quite easy to lie. During my childhood I would tell little white lies, sometimes quite large lies and some very bizarre lies, like the time when a schoolmate asked me why I had orange marks around my mouth and I replied that I had eaten chapattis – when clearly I had enjoyed tomato soup for lunch! Very odd indeed.

Why, then, did/do I lie? Is it genetic or was it because I was surrounded in my childhood by much untruthfulness and grandiose behaviour so I copied it? Psychologists are unclear on this, debating the nature or nurture of lying.

All I know is that as a child I struggled to hold onto friends because I found it difficult to tell the truth. My lies would soon be revealed and I would be left alone, not trusted. This was all very confusing for me as I often was not aware that I was lying so could not understand my lack of friends. I honestly thought I was a nice person.

This shaped my adult life until I discovered mindfulness meditation and the Buddhist pratimoksha vows. The mindfulness meditation helped me to ‘wake up’ to my lies and the pratimosksha vow to abandon lying helped me to realise that lying is unvirtuous and causes harm. It took me a long time to take the vows (there were ten) because the one that I knew I would struggle with most was the one to abandon lying; it was far harder than avoiding intoxicants!

Eventually I did take the vow and, with some therapy to help me, discover that I was lying to cover up my shame, I don’t lie nearly as often now. In fact, truthfulness is very important to me. I still experiment with the truth. I have discovered that, although I have a strong desire to reveal the truth, some people are not ready to hear it. It takes tact and diplomacy sometimes and I am often balancing my needs with the needs of others. I don’t always get this right.

Honesty and trust

What has all this got to do with ‘truth and integrity in public affairs’?

Everything. I work in community engagement, where honesty in relationships is extremely important. I often engage with politicians and journalists as part of my everyday tasks. I have found that by building relationships with them based on trust and understanding of their needs, I am able to engage successfully. I have to use social media frequently as part of my work, again requiring a level of honesty and integrity. My working life is very public and I am scrutinised for it.

Why have I written this article? It was born out of a concern from a Friend about lying in political life and on social media. The Friend challenged us to consider this and, with much soul-searching and a cup of coffee, I wrote the following thoughts based on my own journey with the truth.

Questions and actions

There are two distinct questions in relation to the issue of truth and integrity in public affairs:

1. What can I, individually, do?

2. What can Quakers, collectively, do?

On the latter, Quakers could set up a campaign advocating greater media responsibility and an increase in media accountability. Perhaps this could be organised through Britain Yearly Meeting.

Individually we can:

1. Be informed. Seek to understand how social media operate and learn to use them – not condemn them, but use them responsibly. Be aware that Facebook now ranks stories to ensure that you see ‘the stories that you find most meaningful’. It customises information. (Check out Cass Sunstein’s book #Republic: Divided Democracy in the Age of Social Media or listen to BBC Radio 4’s Bursting the Social Network Bubble.)

2. Be challenged. Contemplate: What is truth? What is freedom of speech? Am I congruent/truthful? That is, do I say one thing but do something else?

3. Be vulnerable. Challenge newspapers, magazines and other publications. Speak out for truth and integrity.

4. Read more widely. For instance, read newspapers that you would not normally read. Seek to be aware of opinions contrary to your own.

5. Be engaged. Seek to engage with politicians, journalists, businessmen, Brexit supporters and those with whom you may disagree.

6. Be inspired. Read about inspirational Quakers and others who have challenged dominant opinions that they held to be erroneous.

These thoughts are based upon my own experiences with the truth, especially in my working life. It is still sometimes painful for me to hear the truth and I still have work to do to be more truthful, but I hope that these thoughts are of some use to you in your own journey.

I will close with an inspirational warning and invocation from Mother Teresa: ‘Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable. Be honest and transparent anyway.’

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