To forgive, divine: Maggie Allder’s Thought for the Week

‘We all recognised the wisdom and grace of this particular teaching.’

In Winchester Meeting a couple of weeks ago we had a joint Havdalah service, marking the end of Shabbat with the local Reform Jewish community. Our Jewish friends were the hosts, but on Quaker premises. It was a moving and joyful occasion. Prayers were said and songs were sung, in Hebrew and in English. Afterwards we shared cake and tea.

Some of us were particularly struck by one part of the service. Reference was made to the Exodus account of the escape from Egypt. According to the order of service we were using, when the angels saw that the Egyptians were drowning they began to rejoice, but God reprimanded them: ‘My creations are drowning in the sea and you wish to sing?!’ 

This story is not in the Torah. It is part of the Midrash, the expansive Jewish tradition of interpreting and elaborating on biblical texts. I think I can say that while not everyone knew that this was not in the Bible, we all recognised the wisdom and grace of this particular teaching.

‘Those we see as evil-doers are also the creation of God.’

A few weeks later we found ourselves led to think about this in Meeting for Worship. We considered the many places in the world where people are suffering at the hands of others, and at the temptation we all face to view our world in black and white, good and evil. When we see things being done which we feel should not be done, we are angry. We may even feel vengeful towards the perpetrators of the violence. Yet, like the angels in the Midrash, we need to recall that those we see as evil-doers are also the creation of God.

We then wondered whether we can forgive those who have wronged others, when we are not the wronged party. Surely it cannot be in our gift to do so? Yet there is a sense in which we, too, are hurt by the terrible things we see on our screens. Witnesses of violence and catastrophe are not left untouched. We are injured, and because of that injury we too have to be forgiving. Of course, we reflected, it is not wrong to feel anger. If bad things are being done, anger is an appropriate response, but we should not feed that anger. We should not dwell on it. Those whose actions have angered us are loved by God, and should be loved by us.

Towards the end of our Meeting, one Friend expressed great gratitude. Some of us had experienced significant trauma, with painful and long-lasting consequences. But the Friend who was speaking – from her own experience – felt thankful that the harm she had known was that of a victim. How much worse it would be to be a perpetrator!

In a world where there seems to be so much violence, hate and ill-will, forgiveness is not easy. Some people, some amazing people, manage to forgive the most terrible things. I am grateful for the wise teaching of the Midrash, and for our Meeting, which explored the issue in such a challenging way, and with such grace. 

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Comments

I love your novels, particularly Courting Rendition and the one that comes before it - I’ve forgotten its title and mislaid my copy - can I get it again? I want to put the set in the meeting house library.
I believe story telling is the best way of explaining things, if you have the gift of doing it well, as you have.
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By Anne & Rob Wade on 5th June 2025 - 11:48

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