Thought for the Week: The cornerstone
Andrew reflects on silence as the cornerstone as character
Silence is the cornerstone of character.’ A friend read these words today, breaking the silence and politely interrupting my thoughts. My attention had just been drifting out of the window to the world outside of the Meeting house, blown around by the fresh winter landscape. I had been reflecting on my first Quaker Meeting just over nine months ago, at a time when I was suffering from immense loss. I was as bare as the trees that were now before me on the Painswick valley, leafless and frail in the gusty January winds.
It was the silence that first attracted me to the Quakers. Here was a community that sat in quietness, sharing in its peace. They communicated so much without a word passing their lips. It felt so true. A place to reflect and feel.
I was immediately at home in the warmth that the community provided, stirred by the group’s reverence to silence. But the more I attended Meetings, the more I realised that the silence was not silent at all. My visits were not just a practice in meditation – they were worship.
Unlike any other religion I had come across, we were not talking to God but listening to God. To me, this hit right at the heart of what worship should be about: touching the essence of faith, rather than dogma.
My yearning to come to the Meeting house was not just a yearning for communal silence but also a yearning to reach something higher. The humility to connect with the sacred that often gets lost in the throws of modern life.
After attending for a few months, I came to understand that it was through this devotion that Friends were compelled to speak and share. Emerging like drops from the ocean, there was so much thought and attentiveness to each vocal uttering. More often than not, I have been deeply moved by their profoundness.
Every Meeting I have learned more about myself and the community. It is only after nine months of this education that I am able to relate to the quote that was now being read out: ‘What are the fruits of silence? They are self-control, true courage or endurance, patience, dignity, and reverence. Silence is the cornerstone of character.’ (Ohiyesa – Charles Eastman)
Indeed, it is only from silence and piety that real virtue can flow. This is crystallised in the Quaker values of pacifism, treating others equally, living simply and telling the truth. These ideals emerge from the collective experiences of the group, from storytelling, rather than passed down through the ages from a distant prophet. Friends breathe authenticity rather than speak old truths.
As I now reflect on the journey I have been on, I no longer feel as stark as the winter’s day. Rather, I feel immense gratitude to sit in the noisy silence. For it is as if I can feel beyond the stillness and touch something pure.
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