Peggy Heeks reflects on crossing the border between life and death

Thought for the Week: Making the crossing

Peggy Heeks reflects on crossing the border between life and death

by Peggy Heeks 15th September 2017

The concept of life as a journey is a familiar one. Applicants for membership of our Society often speak of this move as being ‘part of their journey’, and a whole chapter of Quaker faith & practice is given to accounts of journeys.

It also provided the framework of a favourite book, John Bunyan’s The Pilgrim’s Progress, which tells of Christian’s journey to the Celestial City. Christian’s companion, Hopeful, encourages Christian when he is faced with terrors and is beginning to despair. As Christian crosses the last river he is welcomed by two ‘shining men’, who are ministering spirits. John Bunyan was a Puritan but in several traditions there is help in making the crossing from this life.

John Henry Newman, a Catholic, wrote in The Dream of Gerontius of the dying Gerontius being sent forth on his journey by a priest and received by an angel. There is also the Catholic ritual of Extreme Unction, and Anglican clergy offer communion to the dying. Quakers are encouraged to hold a Meeting for Worship in the home of a dying Friend, and I know how comforting such occasions can be. Is it enough?

This year we are rightly celebrating the contribution that young Friends can make, but we have to acknowledge that a high proportion of those attending Quaker Meetings are over seventy. I am told that it is the process of dying which is feared, rather than being dead. To alleviate this fear a body of Soul Midwives has sprung up, which, for a fee, help this crossing from life to death. Of course, relations may accept this task as both responsibility and privilege. Otherwise, this is clearly part of the work of pastoral care teams. Here, however, Quaker faith & practice is unimaginative, failing to get to the nub of the issue. The section on the role of overseers (12.13) has merely one paragraph, suggesting visiting sick and elderly people. We should, and can, do more than this to make crossing the border between life and death a better experience.

Turning to mythology, we find several stories of crossing over from life. There is the mysterious river, the Styx, envisaged by the Egyptians as winding round the infernal regions. Charon was the ferryman who rowed the dead across the Styx to the Elysian Fields. Today, views on the afterlife are wide-ranging, but the need for a companion to accompany us as we cross over has become more acute.


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