Thought for the Week: Becoming the prayer
Jill Allum reflects on 'becoming the prayer'
All my life I have felt that prayer is saying words to God. I have hunted for the words and felt a failure when I could not find them.
Recently, I wrote a letter to the Friend about a book, The Way of a Pilgrim, and described how it had changed my life, especially my prayer-life. The positive, and thoughtful, response to that letter has made me think that, perhaps, some Friends are hungry for prayer. This is a great release. There is no hunting and striving, just a resting and relaxing, perhaps a letting oneself be prayed through. In the 2014 Swarthmore Lecture book, Ben Pink Dandelion talks about ‘living a life of unceasing prayer’.
I do not say the Jesus Prayer: ‘Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’ Those words would never seem right. But, one day, as I read the The Way of the Pilgrim and jumped on my bicycle I found myself singing these words:
O Lord hear my prayer, O Lord hear my prayer, when I call answer me,
O Lord hear my prayer, O Lord hear my prayer, come and listen to me.
It seemed I was given them to be my special prayer. My lovely blind vicar-friend had started me on the book, so I let him know what was happening. He replied: ‘That is good. That is just what The Way of a Pilgrim is about – finding the prayer that grows out of your heart to fill not just yourself but the world around you as well. Then you become the prayer!’
Wow! What a thought: ‘…you become the prayer!’
So, what is the difference between the different ways of praying? I suppose prayer is not an ‘in’ word for Quakers, so it is not easy to talk about it or ask for help. Well, suddenly, I didn’t have to make up words to say. I could get into the prayer by using my ‘mantra’, though I have never found that word helpful. Now, somehow, I felt prayed through. Whether I was trying to communicate with God, Jesus or Spirit did not seem to matter. ‘O Lord’ was just a vague orientation. It was ‘an orientation towards God’ as Jocelyn Burnell says in Quaker faith & practice 26.25. They are words I have always found meaningful.
Now, I could do my prayer at any time of day and in any place: the kitchen sink, the toilet, the garden and, of course, in Meeting for Worship. There was no effort required, just an opening up and a sense of peace and rightness. Sometimes prayers get frantic, perhaps when someone we love is in distress or we are in trouble. This new kind of prayer just seems a great relaxing and resting, a sort of letting go and just feeling a sense of ‘an in-filling’.
My friendly vicar’s words ‘you become the prayer’, were especially helpful. If I meet someone in trouble and I am a prayer, what difference would that make?
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