The wrong silence
Miriam Yagud believes Friends should talk about diversity and belief more openly and more often
Friends with diverse conceptions of God and relations to Christianity often say that they feel inhibited: that it is difficult to express their outlook freely with other Quakers; to give spoken ministry, or attend their Meeting, as often as they would like; to feel welcome or at home in their Meeting; to feel that their perspective is more than a tolerated minority view. I have also experienced moments when I felt inhibited about sharing my views, or stumbled to find what I thought would be ‘acceptable’ or ‘respectful’ words. The silence between us seems wide ranging, not just on the issue of the divine.
The following extract from Britain Yearly Meeting website suggests that ‘sectarianism’ is not the problem: ‘Quakers do not share a fixed set of beliefs. Our unity is based on shared understanding and a shared practice of worship, not on our beliefs all being the same. There is no need to be in unity with Quakers on every issue in order to be part of our Meetings.’
There is a great diversity within the Quakers on conceptions of God, and we use different kinds of language to describe religious experience. Some Quakers have a conception of God which is similar to that of orthodox Christians, and would use similar language. Others are happy to use God-centred language, but would conceive of God in very different terms to the traditional Christian trinity. Some describe themselves as agnostics, or humanists, or non-theists and describe their experiences in ways that avoid the use of the word God entirely. Quaker faith is built on experience and Quakers would generally hold that it is the spiritual experience which is central to Quaker worship and not the use of a particular form of words (whether that be ‘God’ or anything else.
I find this a very inclusive statement. I know many Quakers, of all Christian and theistic persuasions and none, including myself, who feel entirely comfortable, and proud even, to be able to say we Quakers seek to live our values rather than spout about them. Some Friends think I talk too much, but maybe some Friends don’t talk enough! I’ve come to the conclusion that reluctance to speak about and explore our diverse Quaker experiences, values and relationships with each other, face to face, is largely due to lack of practice and insufficient exploration and self reflection with each other rather than because of any organised or dominant prejudice among us. When we don’t speak our truth with each other we are left with guesswork. This doesn’t foster confidence or dialogue.
Many Friends do their exploring through the printed word rather than with each other, some through courses. Taking a risk with each other in Local Meetings seems hard to do. Young Friends have a healthy culture of exploring their views and values with each other and many find the lack of exploration in Local and Area Meetings frustrating and leave the Society. This kind of silence will lead to the death of Quakerism.
The reluctance to break this silence between us may be cultural: the British habit of assimilating rather than engaging with difference and the horrible ‘tolerating’ rather than embracing difference that suggests putting up with a bad smell. I think so. The absence of a written creed may also be a stumbling block for many, not just the refugees from institutional religions. I value the central imperative at the heart of our way of worship; to be in relationship with each other. Sometimes I find myself seeking a certainty that I know doesn’t exist within Quakerism or elsewhere, as I seek solid ground, or when I feel insecure when faced with the challenge of change. Greater openness and willingness to share who we are with each other, in an exploratory way, is one of the great opportunities Quakerism offers; our way of worship provides the form – the solid ground, so we can dance merrily on the washing line of life, not hung out to dry, but flapping lively, like happy bunting in the wind.
