Taking care: Mary Woodward on the Mental Health Fund

‘I was able to lay down a burden I’d been carrying for decades.’

by Mary Woodward 3rd November 2023

During lockdown, a very dear friend of mine experienced serious mental health difficulties. I knew about the Quaker Mental Health Fund’s short-term grants, which would pay for six free sessions with a therapist from The Retreat in York, and encouraged him to apply. He found the online sessions invaluable for helping him cope with his isolation during this difficult period.

One Sunday some time later, I found myself bursting into floods of tears on three separate occasions. I had thought that I was pretty OK, but this suggested that I was probably not as OK as I thought. Mindful of my friend’s experience, I sent a quick email to the Quaker Mental Health Fund, outlining my situation and wondering whether I would qualify for their short-term therapy sessions.

The following day I received an email saying, ‘Mary, this is exactly what the sessions are designed for’. I filled in the attached form and by the Wednesday had got an appointment with one of their therapists. The six sessions, spread over a number of weeks, enabled me to look at my life and identify the things that were causing me so much (di)stress, and also work out strategies to help prevent similar meltdowns in future. These strategies were put to the test – I was unexpectedly hospitalised before I had had my final session, and was very grateful for all I had learned about looking after and protecting myself and learning to say ‘no’.

If that were all, I would have reason enough to be grateful to the Quaker Mental Health Fund, but the story doesn’t end there. I realised during a visit to my daughter that I still had serious unresolved issues around my divorce some decades ago. I tried unsuccessfully to get free counselling sessions near where I live – my income is not big – so I thought I’d approach the Fund and see if they could help.

The short-term counselling sessions are a ‘one-off’ offer, but I was told that each individual applicant could receive up to £1,000 from the Fund, so there was still some money I could use to fund some sessions. I was offered sessions with a therapist near where I live, but I preferred to reconnect with the therapist I’d seen previously – I found it most helpful that she already knew me.

Without going into detail, I have to say the sessions were little short of miraculous. With a lot of hard work on my part, and kindly and loving support on my therapist’s, I was able to lay down a burden I’d been carrying for decades – and, incidentally, experience a ‘knock-on’ effect on other difficult relationships. It was amazingly freeing, and I am extremely grateful to the Fund.

Do, please, bear in mind that help exists. It’s not a sign of weakness to ask for it. You don’t have to suffer alone!

Quaker Mental Health Fund can be contacted at: www.quakermhfund.uk; 07395 565 428; or grants@quakermhfund.uk.

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