Quaker marriage procedure
Symon Hill reports on the changes to the marriage chapter in Quaker faith & practice
British Friends have affirmed their commitment to same-sex marriage with the approval of a revised chapter in Quaker faith & practice. But uncertainty over changes to the law means that it is likely to be rewritten again next year. The new chapter sixteen, entitled ‘Quaker marriage’, allows couples of any gender to be treated equally. During their declaration, the couple can commit to each other as ‘wife’, ‘husband’, ‘spouse’ or ‘partner in marriage’.
The change follows a decision at Britain Yearly Meeting (BYM) in 2009 to amend the chapter so that ‘same-sex marriages can be prepared, celebrated, witnessed, recorded and reported to the state as opposite-sex marriages are’. BYM decided on that occasion not to break the law, meaning that separate registers will be used for same-sex and mixed-sex marriages. Same-sex couples are also expected to go through a civil partnership before their Quaker marriage.
The Church Government Advisory Group (CGAG) appointed two Friends to do most of the redrafting work. The chapter includes a lengthy new introduction on the meaning of marriage as well as revision in other areas. One of the redrafters, Michael Phipps, told the Friend that the extensive rewriting was necessary because of the ‘episodic’ nature of the existing version, caused by minor amendments over time.
‘We have had three same-sex marriages, only recognised as such by ourselves,’ said Michael Hutchinson, BYM’s assistant recording clerk, as he presented the new chapter to Yearly Meeting (YM) in Canterbury last week. ‘We have adapted our forms and leaflet to ensure – as far as possible without breaking the law – we use gender-free language.’
The UK government has promised to implement a change in the law by the end of 2011 to allow civil partnerships on religious premises. CGAG therefore hope to present further revisions to YM in 2012.
Outside of Quakers, campaigners have expressed doubt over the government’s commitment to this timetable, given a number of delays since the legislation allowing for the change was passed in April 2010.
YM’s consideration of the chapter saw several Friends say how pleased they were to see marriage equality in a Quaker context. But one Friend insisted that the chapter ‘does not describe marriage at all’ because marriage should be defined ‘in terms of the procreation, the raising of children and the production of children’. Another Friend said her son had married a woman who could not have biological children. ‘Marriage is for mutual compassion and care,’ she insisted.
The clerk drew a murmur of approval when she appealed to Friends not to reopen the decision on same-sex marriage, but to consider whether the new chapter reflected that decision.
Other changes to the chapter include a clarification over the use of Welsh in Quaker marriage. Couples are now allowed a choice between English and Welsh anywhere in Wales, whereas the previous chapter referred more ambiguously to ‘places where the Welsh tongue is commonly used’.
The chapter strongly recommends a Meeting for Clearness for any couple considering marriage. But some Friends have expressed concern that it is described as ‘essential’ when the process involves the remarriage of a divorced person.
One Friend told the Friend that the chapter did not seem to be treating all couples equally. She said that while it is ‘really important’ for a divorced person to be truly committed to a new marriage, this is also ‘true for people getting married for the first time’.
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