Pride and prejudice: Stevie Krayer tests herself on racism

‘That, Friends, was how I realised that I’m an unconscious racist.’

The government’s recent race report has been widely condemned. It seems to have been written with the conscious intention of inhibiting any further work on racism in Britain. One response that particularly made me think was from Wendy Williams, author of the independent review into the Windrush scandal: ‘There seems to be a misconception that racism is confined to decisions made with racist motivations ... This is a misunderstanding of both the law and racism generally.’

Like many of us I find reports of racism in our own Society cringe-inducing. But it’s all too easy to point the finger at the behaviour of other Friends. What about the plank in my own eye? Am I in too much of a hurry to absolve myself of racism because my actions are not fuelled by ‘racist motivations’?

The problem with dealing with unconscious racism is that, obviously, it’s unconscious. But I know a test you can apply. I’ve been re-reading CLR James’ brilliant account of the San Domingo slave rebellion, The Black Jacobins, and found this biting comment: ‘Without slaves San Domingo was doomed. The British colonies had enough slaves for all the trade they were ever likely to do. With the tears rolling down their cheeks for the poor, suffering blacks, those British bourgeois who had no West Indian interests set up a great howl for the abolition of the slave trade.’

My immediate reaction was defensive. Surely James was being a bit harsh? Unfair, even? That, Friends, was how I realised that I’m an unconscious racist – when I go in for that sort of prevarication, especially on a matter about which I am not knowledgeable, at least compared with this eminent historian. Another eminent historian, David Olusoga, has spoken of a ‘William Wilberforce-centric history that characterised enslaved people only as victims – passive beneficiaries of British mercy’. I fear that, in my quiet pride at the principled (if belated) stand of Quakers against the slave trade, I may have thoughtlessly fallen into that same self-congratulatory and patronising historical focus.

I’m Jewish, and have sometimes been hurt by others’ thoughtlessness (including from some Quakers). This might mean that I’m a bit more sensitive to how it feels. Nevertheless, I am not better than others; I have nothing to be self-righteous about. I’m recalling things I’ve said and done unthinkingly, which with hindsight I acknowledge were offensive. Was I too embarrassed, or too obtuse, to apologise? If the individual on the receiving end objected, did I dismiss them as thin-skinned, or get miffed because they labelled me prejudiced or patronising? Even now, do I always listen? Am I truly respectful, or am I in the business of putting right those misguided people who don’t see things my way?

I’m deeply grateful for the patience of Friends of colour, who have put in time and effort over long periods to help people like me open our eyes. But this is not really their job. If I truly want to be a ‘white anti-racist ally’, it’s mine.

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