Out of the silence
Rosalind Smith reviews a new book by Terry Waite
There is a light that shines from Terry Waite’s new book Out of the Silence. It is the light of hope – a light that sustained him throughout his prolonged period of captivity between 1987 and 1992. He was in solitary confinement for four of these years, often chained, beaten and blindfolded, and even subjected to the horror of mock execution.
How did he survive? How did he, especially, survive mentally? Many, in similar circumstances, would have been destroyed both physically and mentally. But from his inner resources of faith, hope and love he found the strength to do just that, to survive – and more. He wrote, not with pen and paper, as he was never allowed that, but in his head – poems, prose and even novels!
Somehow, much of what he stored away in the recesses of his mind have found their way into this simple but lovely book; and, later on, in his freedom he found himself able to compile his thoughts and experiences from, as he says, his memories, poems and reflections. He admits to being inspired by the similar title of Carl Jung’s autobiography. It was in New Zealand, with his family, that he found the release to be able to start to commit these things to paper and then, later, in England, especially at Trinity Hall, Cambridge.
His new book does not dwell for long on his prolonged period of captivity and torture. Rather than succumb to hating his oppressors, he found that despite the terrible deprivation and inhumanity he experienced he was able to have compassion for his persecutors: ‘I felt an overwhelming sense of pity for the one who had administered the beating.’ As I read I found myself thinking, along with him: Forgive them, for they know not what they do.
He has written of the pain of individuals who have lost loved ones and of the joys of reunion, of beautiful places like New Zealand, and hidden places ‘within my soul’.
He also writes of unexplored relationships:
I knew you
But I never knew you.
I saw you
But I never saw you.
We walked together
Through life
With faltering steps.
Half hoping.
Half dreaming
That life would bind us deeply together.
In the eyes of God we were one.
As we looked into each other’s eyes,
The distance was immeasurable.
In later years, while still an Anglican, he found himself drawn to the deep silence of Meeting for Worship (having had much forced experience of silence) and is now a ‘Quanglican’! But one feels that his faith goes deeper than any so-called religious divisions, that it is truly universal, all-embracing and totally whole.
A deep love for humanity permeates this book and Terry Waite relates his continuing interior and exterior journey as he engages in peacemaking and humanitarian work around the world, much of which would have proved daunting to anyone who had endured what he did. He has met with so very many who have suffered, and still do:
In my silent room
My heart is heavy.
I think of those whom I know:
‘My son was blown into pieces’
‘My wife was taken and shot.’
In my silent room
I cry,
Cry for the suffering of so many.
This beautiful book of poetry and prose touches on all aspects of the author’s far-ranging thought, both during his incarceration and the years since then. It is a worthy book to dip into and meditate thereon.
Out of the Silence: Memories, Poems, Reflections by Terry Waite is published by SPCK Publishing at £9.99. ISBN: 9780281077618.
