Not a job, more a way of life
Vicky Darling shares the highs and lows of being warden of a busy Meeting house
In 1993 I joined a small group to find a new warden for my Meeting. As deliberations over the contract, job description and advertisement in the Friend progressed, I began to feel that it might suit me. I resigned from the group and applied! It had never entered my head to be a warden, and I always felt that nothing would persuade me to leave my own home to take a residential post. I was due to retire from a busy nursing job at the local hospital; my family had long since left home. There was only me and the cat. I thought I could offer five years, but here I am, nearly sixteen years later. I have now decided, however, that it is time to leave. I hope someone may be inspired to apply to be our new warden. It is a unique job in a unique Meeting house. The main reason is that there are six, sometimes seven residents. Originally it was conceived as a way to help people in crisis when they needed a place to stay. This worked for about 20 years, but became impossible to sustain.
Legislation changed, a licence is now required for houses of multiple occupation, and a night shelter and day centre filled some of the earlier needs in the city. A new kind of community has evolved. Our present residents live happily together and accept the restrictions being in a Meeting house brings. We often take in those who need a bit of extra support, but they have to be able to cope when the warden is off. We presently have two charity workers; a night shelter volunteer; two young architect trainees; a student at the university and an older woman referred for respite. We often cook for each other, play Scrabble, or eat supper together on summer evenings under the magnolia tree. The residents help me, and each other, in countless small ways.
There have been tricky times – sometimes conflict between residents and with me, and some episodes of mental and other illness. But on a positive note, two babies have been born to residents, two baptisms by the Russian Orthodox priest have taken place, and two residents met, got engaged and were married here.
We also have a room for bed and breakfast guests, which is rarely unoccupied! The overnight guests are often Friends from overseas or from other Meetings in the UK. Our Meeting house is an eighteenth century building in the heart of the city, with cathedral views from the garden. Winchester is a lovely city in which to live. Like all cities, though, it is one of contrasts and inequality: there is wealth, but also deprivation. We help people with a wide variety of needs and the house is very busy, with many user groups.
Part of my job is to deal with all the lettings, and hopefully not overbooking. I once put Gamblers Anonymous and the retired clergy group into the same room! One of the attractions is to prepare the rooms for all these meetings and to provide a warm Quaker welcome.
Of course, the main purpose of the Meeting house is as a home for Winchester Quakers. We are a thriving Meeting, with two Sunday Meetings and a Wednesday lunch-time Meeting. The job is endlessly interesting, no two days are ever the same. I look after the beautiful walled garden with help from volunteers, I provide simple lunches and suppers for some groups and cook for the Wednesday lunches. There is a splendid Aga and I enjoy cooking, but this is not in my job description, so really one could make of this job what one likes. There are many possibilities for outreach and involvement in the local community.
My flat has a wonderful view of St Catherine’s Hill and the Bishop’s Palace. I have never been bored. I hope someone takes on this job who loves it as much as I have done.
See www.freewebs.com/winchesterquakers to learn more about Winchester Quakers and their Meeting.
Wardens and Friends in Residence are among the many positions advertised in the Friend.
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