Moving forward: Abigail Maxwell visits New York Yearly Meeting

‘On Zoom, I can go anywhere in the world.’

On Zoom, I can go anywhere in the world, so I went to New York Yearly Meeting (NYYM)Summer Sessions. Until 2019, these took place at Silver Bay in the Adirondacks. This year they were ‘hybrid’ (sometimes called ‘blended’) with some Friends at Silver Bay and some online.

The two nineteenth-century NYYMs reunited in 1955, saying, ‘We shall continue to share our differences, which serve a useful purpose. God does not ask us for conformity, but calls us to unity, in obedience to the leadings of the spirit. We seek to recapture the radiance of simple, uncomplicated love… such love as will resist evil without violence, without hatred of the wrongdoer, and without compromise.’ I knew some New York Friends from Zoom worship at Pendle Hill and an ongoing worship sharing group, so I was initially surprised when morning worship (New York time) began with singing and prepared ministry.

But, remembering the repeated command to ‘Breathe! Stretch!’ I joined in the singing and actions with my microphone off. ‘Rise and shine, and give God the glory glory.’ I felt invigorated. This is a children’s song.

Quakers share in humanity’s collective trauma from the pandemic, as well as our own particular traumas. At Yearly Meeting in London I felt shock and grief seeing how few people there were in the Large Meeting House; New York Friends felt similarly about the formerly-crowded auditorium at Silver Bay.

I am here because I crave spaces where listening, speaking and living from the Light are valued. So I spend time with: Jamie Catto’s ‘Lovely Gathering’; a twelve-step group; my conscious sexuality group; and anywhere else I can find seekers. Yet when a Friend in my worship-sharing group asked why I was here, I lied, saying I wanted to write about the Meeting for Discernment, which has no precise equivalent in BYM. I did not want to appear needy or vulnerable. Later I told the real reason. A Friend said a picture formed in her mind of a Light, alone in a dense, dark forest, which yet kept out much of the wind and rain. Then she told me her terrible sorrow. Here, when my ego tries to meet its needs, it is merely destructive. My ego-defences isolate me. They might change my feelings, but not reality. They make me withdraw from human contact. And I cling to them, because living in Light terrifies me.

Meeting for Discernment originally replaced the NYYM Ministry and Counsel committee, to hear Monthly Meetings’ concerns. The rich, carefully discerned query was, ‘What truths are being revealed today that we cannot unknow, cannot unsee? How are we being called to change? How are we being called to action?’ On Tuesday 26 July, after half an hour’s community worship, we had two sessions, to respond to the query as moved, then a further session to reflect on what we had heard.

On Monday at Sessions, all ages became as little children, with face painting and bubble wands. How can we enter the Kin-dom of Heaven?

Before that was a preparation session on holding the space in worship. Friends spoke of grounded worship and intention to hold the space in prayer, connected with others, in love and with Spirit. This is the heart of Quaker worship, including Quaker business, and it is good to remind ourselves of these things.

I asked what effect the Meeting for Discernment has. Friends said the group feels different, as we listen to each other without a concluding minute or definite decision as in business meeting. It changes our ability to listen deeply, and allows us to hear each other’s concerns.

What can I not unsee? That God is in me as God was in Jesus. My call to change comes from Thessalonians: ‘Rejoice always, pray without ceasing’. I am not called to great busyness. God in each human being will bless me if I have ears to hear.

We heard Friends’ concerns: Black Lives Matter; ecology; Covid; and white, male, cisgender, straight privilege. A nurse was going to Ukraine. And Friends shared their spiritual insights. We are like grains of sand on the seashore: the complexity of life is beautiful, chaotic and uncontrollable. We cannot know anything certainly except that each is a small part of something vast. The world is filled with spiritual seekers, and we need to throw our doors open, embrace them and learn from them.
Could grieving Quakers seek social action as a refuge? The leadings of the spirit make us come alive, but when we cannot discern such leadings, are we tempted to acts, good in themselves, just because they seem Quakerly?

Some of the spiritual exhortation sounded angry to me. A Friend said some of our speech was rhetoric unconnected to Source, as if we were a political action committee.
Later, I heard of the ‘Urgent Call to the Religious Society of Friends’ to work to protect US democracy. At Sessions Friends did not unite behind it. Friends have diverse political views.

A Friend said God resides where cognition ends and hope begins. In her work, she meets people in their deepest need. She always came back to Quaker worship to be held and feel the presence of the Light. This year she felt the presence of misery and sadness, and the worship did not feel safe to her. In God there is endless light and joy.
A Friend said the place where grounded ministry comes from is the same space where leadings come from, and we can live in that place all the time. If you want to see the face of God, look in the eyes of your neighbour. Love unites us: we can act as One. We are the Body of Christ, each with a different part to play. Another: a call to action is like a call to war against perceived evil. She feels a call to dance.

In the Reflections session, I had the sense that each of the Beatitudes applies to Friends here. Friends spoke of the strong emotion and pain they had heard. One said Friends feel safe here, and can reveal ourselves. We are being called to nurture a sense of connection, both/and not either/or.

At closing worship on Saturday, prepared ministry called us to follow Christ as servants in whom God delights, caring and sensitive to each other’s needs, because we are all bruised reeds. The last ministry described a batch of baby chickens, outgrowing their container, exploring the chicken house but snuggling together at night, at first reluctant to go out into the yard. God urges us out into the next scary place.

On Zoom, I was in the same worship-sharing group all week, with no query to address. We shared what was in our hearts. Perhaps I will never see those Friends again.

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Comments

NYYM has 3053 members. They do not count attenders. They have a new category of “at large” members, only four currently, of those not attached to a particular Monthly Meeting (MM). MMs are grouped into nine regions which hold quarterly meetings.

Most MMs are unprogrammed, but there are seven paid pastors attached to an MM, and twelve Friends are recorded as Ministers, having retired as pastors. There are about 64 MMs and 11 worship groups, across New York State and parts of New Jersey and Connecticut.

In the Aughts there was a transition working group considering restructuring the whole YM- its witness, nurture, and general services. It established a co-ordinating committee on Ministry and Counsel. The Yearly Meeting Ministry and Counsel committee, which met during YM sessions, was suspended, and the Meeting for Discernment was established to strengthen connections between MMs and the YM, support leadings and discern new directions. It would pay attention to MMs and also individual Friends’ lives. It would be extended worship twice a year at least for a full day.

Sometimes the queries speak most to MM concerns, sometimes most to individuals. Seasoned Friends gather the night before to prepare to hold the space, and hold the body in prayer.

A steering committee is nominated by YM Nominations Committee. It writes reports of the MfD and discerns the queries. The draft queries are sent to worship groups in prisons in the State to help with their discernment, and then the finalised queries are sent to those worship groups. Their responses may be read out during the worship.

By Abigail Maxwell on 18th August 2022 - 8:14

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