Letters - 26 July 2013

25 Jul 2013 | by The Friend

From mental health in Meetings to shared values

Mental health in Meetings

I want to reply to the anonymous article on ‘Mental health in Meetings’ (12 July).

Depressed people are their own worst enemies – I’m one myself, so I should know! Their outlook is compulsively negative and they don’t go in for ‘happy endings’. I’ve just come back from a family holiday, tearful and smarting from my children’s criticism of my negative reactions and memories. So, after Meeting, I invited a friendly young woman to visit me and warned her to expect some ‘gory stories’.

This was rather hard on her – no doubt she has her own problems. The reason: because I crave sympathy and this craving is insatiable. It’s a kind of emotional blood-sucking, and I despise myself for it, but it’s almost impossible for me to change it.

I would like to say to all Friends who try to help people who are depressed: be of good cheer; your efforts are appreciated even if, often, the sufferer lacks the grace to thank you. He or she would feel even worse if you weren’t trying to help. If they are still with us, you must be doing pretty well!

Jean Fisher

‘A Friend’ raised questions of how Quakers might better support those who attend our Meetings and have mental health issues. Overseers are charged with this task, but if we leave it all to them they may be overwhelmed, and the skills of others in the Meeting may be ignored.

I suggest:

  • Let courses be run for those who would like to play the role of ‘Supporting Friend’. Satisfactory performance on the course leads to a recommen-dation to the Area Meeting that the volunteer be appointed.
  • Let each Area and Local Meeting keep a register of Supporting Friends in which they describe their backgrounds, attitudes, skills and contact details, and offer to support, insofar as their time permits, any who seek their support.
  • Let this register be available to all who visit the Meeting house, so they may choose their Supporting Friends.
  • Let an agency at Friends House keep a record of Supporting Friends who offer email or telephone support. Put this on the internet.
  • Let appraisal be mandatory for Supporting Friends from appraisers distant to their Local Meetings. At appraisal, Supporting Friends discuss their work, matters of concern and their development plans.
  • Let those who receive support from Supporting Friends have access to the appraisers so they may provide information on the helpfulness of the support they receive.

I would appreciate others’ views.

Alick Munro

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