Letters - 09 March 2018
Titles
The spiritual journey is more important than labels. Are we to give regular attenders a set time before they apply for membership? A person, member or attender is no different. We are all on a spiritual path; we all have faith and commitments to the Society before and after acceptance into membership.
It is my understanding that Quakers do not believe in titles (labels), yet it is has been suggested that only those with the title ‘Friend’ belong at Quaker Meetings.
Does not the ‘still small voice’ come to all those gathered together in worship?
William Shakespeare wrote: ‘A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.’ Titles do not matter; it is what the person does that matters. Let us renew the term ‘Ffriend’ for all seekers of the truth.
Ian Smith
Afternoon tea and co-counselling
Afternoon tea… morning coffee… a bite of supper… whatever. The breaking of bread, preferably in one another’s homes, brings hospitality and co-humanity. Christ and George Fox both recognised its value. Since we have promoted one another to be our clergy, it is a habit we should adopt more regularly. We do not need to be overseers to do this, merely supportive Friends.
But normal conversation has limitations. Things may be said that jar: competitiveness, poor listening skills, misunderstanding, or lack of acceptance of the human condition may have us part uneasy. We are conscious of the risk and cautious.
Playing the role of counsellor has its problems. It implies that one participant is wiser or less vulnerable than the other, and neither partner may be comfortable with this.
Co-counselling addresses these problems. It structures the conversation. Each partner gets equal time to air their joys, insights, ambitions, worries, grievances, anxieties and/or miseries, while the other listens attentively. Beforehand, there will be a mutual understanding on confidentiality, and the degree of suggestion and intervention expected of the listener.
Before, between and after, we Friends may recognise the value of shared stillness. Sometimes we may use a distraction technique – such as counting down, or pointing to things in the room – to shift attention from the gravity of what has been said and enable the other’s contribution to begin.
Adopting this as a regular habit may bring more value to our membership. We can each initiate it ourselves.
Alick Munro
Woodbrooke
I was rather surprised that you chose to publish the letter from Iwona Luszowicz (2 March) concerning her stay at Woodbrooke.
I cannot see what purpose it served beside the letters on more ‘Quakerly’ subjects such as overseers, sustainability and inequality.
Was it the quotation from Walt Whitman that was deemed to give it suitability? If so, then it failed to convince me.
I too have stayed at Woodbrooke both as B&B in a private capacity with family and attending a Quaker course. I’ve also stayed in B&Bs, guesthouses and hotels of varying standards all over Great Britain and abroad and have never seen a guest appear in nightwear for breakfast.
I wish to put on record that the Friends in Residence at Woodbrooke are unfailingly helpful to all guests, even the unreasonable ones who regard the Friends in Residence purely as servants at their beck and call.
Friends in Residence put up with being called out to guests in the middle of the night, clearing up when guests are sick and providing comfort to those in distress, to name but a few fairly typical situations.
The Friends in Residence are there as volunteers and work very hard, the least they can expect is consideration and good manners including turning up for breakfast appropriately dressed.
Nicolette Richardson
