Letters - 03 July 2026
From Wrong kind of silence to Joy rider
Wrong kind of silence
Why is it that even though really intelligent people can see what is wrong with society, it never really changes?
Two thousand years of women being treated like beasts of burden, passed from father to husband in a ceremony which is said to be ‘romantic’. All the education in the world has been unable to eradicate the idea that women are inferior, in every way, to men.
Couples still long to have a son because girls are just not good enough.
Jobs with responsibility are always given to a mediocre man in the office instead of the talented and imaginative woman.
At some Quaker Meetings I have attended, only the men seem to ever offer vocal ministry, their wives sitting patiently and listening to these wise words, while they wait to speak regarding only the more mundane aspects of a Meeting, such as the condition of the library, or the upcoming events.
Why is this? Why do women walk in the shadow of their husbands, seemingly afraid to have a mind of their own?
Because to behave otherwise, is seen as unfeminine. Nobody wants to be accused of being ‘butch’ or ‘wearing the trousers in that relationship’.
This is, in my view, a great pity.
It means that rather than being silenced, women are silencing themselves.
The patriarchal nature of our society is very damaging for men, also. They are expected to be ‘provider’ types, made to ‘man up’ at a very young age, and discouraged from using what is an extremely important pressure valve for human beings, shedding tears.
With suicide rates for every age group increasing at a very alarming rate every year, we need to ask ourselves not ‘What is wrong with that person?’, but instead ‘What is wrong with Society?’
Blaming individuals for their distress leads to thoughts of self harm. Instead of encouraging people to trawl the internet trying to find out what is wrong with them, it is our duty to point out that society is killing people, and needs to be changed.
Anne Marie Brian
Historic Meeting houses
As Yorkshire Quakers move toward a single Area Meeting charity, I have been reflecting on the quiet role of our listed heritage Meeting houses. These places across the country are more than historic buildings. They hold a depth of worship shaped by centuries of faithful presence.
During the FIFA World Cup, we see everywhere the familiar football pattern of pentagons and hexagons – the hexapentakis form. It is one of the most stable structures in nature. Its lesson is simple: hexagons alone create flatness; pentagons create curvature and coherence. Both are needed for a living whole.
As our governance structures are becoming increasingly hexagonal – centralised, efficient, compliant – I see our heritage Meeting houses as the necessary pentagons: places where the heritage of our spiritual life still curves inward and deepens.
As we reshape our structures, may we also tend the places that hold our spiritual roots. They help us remember what we are for.
Cindy Metcalfe
