'They soon realised that more power was needed to move against the grain.' Photo: Eating ‘dog food’

‘If the story is strong enough, there is no need to ask about the moral behind it.’

Just kidding? David & Louise Tinsley on Children’s Meeting

‘If the story is strong enough, there is no need to ask about the moral behind it.’

by David & Louise Tinsley 24th June 2022

At Children’s Meetings in Lewes, we seek to develop Quaker values with our children, and to involve them in activities that encourage thinking and questioning. But we also want the sessions to be fun and entertaining!

Lecturing or labouring a point is something we seek to avoid. During a training session arranged to support children in Meetings we were advised that, if the story or activity is strong enough, there is no need to ask about the moral behind it. That would diminish growth and learning.

A recent session had the title ‘Never judge a book by its cover’. It was chosen to encourage Friends to avoid instant judgements. The children’s attention was gained quickly as we opened a tin of dog food and offered them a taste! There was general disgust and refusal, until an adult accepted the offer and sampled the contents of the tin (beforehand, everyone had been asked not to comment on the taste). The adult pulled a face, but said nothing. Following his ‘bravery’, one by one the children tasted the contents and all maintained the silence. It was only after the last spoonful that everyone laughed and admitted the content was (vegan) chocolate ice cream! Before the session we had cut the bottom off the tin, taken out the contents, and filled it with ice cream and fudge.

‘Never judge a book by its cover’ was enthusiastically shared by the children in the adult Meeting. It was only later that one parent said, ‘But no one went against the grain and refused’. Our job was only half done!

At the next session we used a piece of velvet, and the meaning of ‘going against the grain’ was discussed. Children examined the cloth to determine which way the grain went, and added their names to one of two columns (marked ‘left’ and ‘right’).

With one child awaiting her turn, a deliberate disturbance was caused, which gave us the opportunity to turn the cloth around without being seen. The last girl’s face told a picture! Expecting to agree with the others, she found she didn’t, and was faced with a challenge. Should she risk the comments and laughter that her answer might bring, or play safe and follow the others? She hesitantly gave her different answer.

After this piece of bravery was discussed, and the girl congratulated, children made Lego vehicles to find out how many bricks would move the car on different surfaces. They soon realised that more power was needed to move against the grain.

The session ended with a video of Jesus turning over the tables in the temple. We asked the children to consider who he had upset by sticking to his principles and going against the grain.

The two sessions were enjoyed, and hopefully remembered. Our children were supported in looking deeper at things, and also in standing by their principles in the decisions they make.


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