‘Racism is like a weighted coat that you can’t take off.’ Photo: Clay Banks / Unsplash.
‘I’ve watched our response to the growing issue of black rights. And I’m a bit disappointed.’
Put to rights: Sophie Bevan has spent too long being treated as ‘strange or unusual’
Friends, do you care about black lives? I’m sure you believe you do. But if a non-white person comes to your Meeting, do you treat them as an equal? Or do you slow your voice and ask if they speak English, or where they’re from?
My black peers share stories with me: the first time they realised they were different in a way they couldn’t change; the first time they felt racism (always as a small child, always from adults). Can you imagine how that shapes someone?
You need to understand the impact of microaggressions. These are common – too numerous to count in an average day. They are the little comments, the looks, the side-eyes. The things that show you that you are different, and different in a bad way. Imagine you are made of clay. Every time someone is rude to you because of the colour of your skin, every time a security guard follows you around a shop, every time someone tuts or stares, that becomes a fingerprint in your clay. You might not notice one or two. But by the end of a long day of comments about your hair, of people crossing the road to avoid you, of condescending smiles, you’re covered. Now imagine that happening every day, since you were a child.
Racism is like a weighted coat you can’t take off. It’s feeling like you’re always held back, that you have to try a little harder. It’s constantly watching your tone, where you go and who you run into.
You might think I’m being too severe – exaggerating, making too much fuss. But I still regularly meet adults who, without warning, touch my hair to feel its texture. They still put their hands on me without permission, like they’re touching an animal. Adults within the Quaker community assume it’s alright to exoticise me, to treat me like I’m something strange and unusual.
As a black Quaker I’ve watched our response to the issue of black rights with interest. And I’m a bit disappointed. I’m seeing nothing. No passion, no letter-writing campaigns, no donations. That’s just Local Meetings; the national response has been equally mediocre, just a few copied statements on the web. OK, Quakers do things slowly, but I was expecting more speed than this. For a group of people who supposedly care about human rights, we seem pretty upset about a statue ending up in a harbour. Remember Advice 11: ‘What unpalatable truths might you be evading?’
The Black Global Majority (we’re not a minority) are a part of Britain. We didn’t just arrive one day, we shaped this land. We are Britain as much as you. We’re not asking permission; we’re telling you we’re going to make changes.
I am reminded that every mind must be changed individually, and that the longer a belief is held, the harder it is to let go. Please try to understand the experiences of black friends in your Meeting and beyond. Look for our similarities, not our differences, however obvious they are.
Comments
Dear Sophie
Thank you for this article. I am astonished that people touch your hair and I am so sorry that happens to you. I just wanted to say that a community group that I am involved with has been scrutinising its behaviour - not just posting statements etc but changing our practices.We hope we are balancingour awareness that it is up to white people to do the work, while involving people of colour but at the same time not asking them to do the work for us. I truly hope this is happening more widely - people quietly getting on with making changes which might not be immediately obvious. In friendship Alison
By Alison Bender on 9th July 2020 - 15:53
I totally agree Sophie. We have a long way to go. Things will only change when we white people look at and examine our own racism and unconscious beliefs. I’ve set up a discussion group for white parents to look at and unpack our white priviledge so we can truly implement anti-racist parenting. I’m glad to say that this group includes a number of Quaker parents. As Alison says above, it’s up to us, white people to do our work. And it’s up to us white Quakers to do it within the Society as well.
By Beth Follini on 13th July 2020 - 13:24
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