Is Quakerism for the elderly?
G Gordon Steel considers Friends, friendship, the young and the old
Young people brought up in a Quaker Meeting tend to drift away in their teenage years. This is common, and has been the case for as long as I can remember. They are growing up, feeling their independence, and they often want to do things their way. We understand this and rejoice in it.
Words in a letter in the Friend once brought me up short: ‘Quakerism tends to appeal to those of more mature years.’ Can it really be true that Quakerism is for oldies? George Fox was twenty-eight when he went up Pendle Hill and many of his followers must have been around that age. Not all of us now are elderly and we do have some bright young sparks; but it is true that older Friends, mainly, attend most Meetings. It is a matter that concerns us greatly.
I am inclined to identify two causes of this situation. First, there is a general decline in believing and churchgoing nationwide. The churches that are bucking the trend seem to be those that do not ask people to think too much about their faith: they design services with happy songs, accompanied by appropriate music and seem to care for people. This appeals to the young, but I know of older churchgoers who deeply regret modernism. Some non-Christian groups also seem immune to the general decline: Judaism and Islam, for example, are religions that have a strong element of tribalism, where identity is defined by the family and ancestral faith. This used to be the case in Christianity but strictness of that sort is, thankfully, less common now in Britain.
The decline in churchgoing may also be the result of various social changes. Sunday is more and more seen as a day for sports and recreation, and you can shop if you wish. These distractions from the idea of a regular Sunday morning commitment are particularly appealing to people who are the right side of thirty. It is part of the rise in secularism, also fuelled by the highly publicised views of some atheists. Does less churchgoing mean that people are less concerned for social justice and the disadvantaged? I think not. Quakers have always valued quality of life over the outward aspects of religion.
A second reason why Young Friends drift away lies in what in the 1960s began to be called the ‘Generation Gap’. A community of older people has a different atmosphere and a different emphasis from one with a vibrant younger element. We all enjoy being part of a group when we feel comfortable in the company of people like us – a group with which we have common interests and find friendship. If there are fewer than three or four young people among a Meeting dominated by old fogeys they will prefer to be elsewhere. Some of us, of course, are young in spirit, though old in years, and still manage to interact well with young people, but this may not be adequate to change the overall tenor of the Meeting; and, of course, not all of our teenagers have gone. To our delight there are a few who still seem to enjoy being part of a Meeting among a group of older Friends.
Community spirit is essential and I suspect that many Quaker Meetings are held together not by Quaker faith but by having a friendly, welcoming and supportive atmosphere. I know a number of adult Quakers who prefer not to go to the Meeting closest to their homes but to one that they find more congenial. Perhaps we need new Quaker Meetings with a core of lively twenty- to thirty-year-olds and entice some of our other Young Friends to join them. Would they thrive in that environment?
