‘Into the Depths: A chaplain’s reflections on death, dying and pastoral care’, by Rosie Deedes

Review by Nick Wilde

Rosie Deedes works in spiritual care at the Mountbatten Hospice on the Isle of Wight. She has also worked as a chaplain in prisons and at a university. She draws on that experience in this book, which, though not an easy read, is very readable.

My own experiences with the death of those near to me led me to the Quaker Concern around Dying and Death group and, later, to facilitating Death Cafes. This book gives a professional approach from someone who has worked with the dying in women’s and men’s prisons, and a hospice. These are two very different places to die. In a hospice the regime is one of care and love. But in a prison there is also a surprising amount of care. As Dostoevsky wrote: ‘The degree of civilisation in a society can be judged by entering its prisons.’ To that Rosie Deedes adds: ‘Perhaps the care of the dying and deceased prisoner also shows how civilized a society we are.’

This book is very relevant to Quakers. Pastoral care is described in the context of (sometimes disturbing) death, dying well, and grief. The author also talks about taboos, the ‘Dying Matters’ movement, and Death Cafes, where death is talked about and more accepted.

Many Quakers are prison visitors or volunteers. Recent TV programmes have shown the struggles that staff have with a lack of resources. When I visit someone in prison I wonder about the other visitors, who may have travelled for many hours for a two-hour visit. Here on the Isle of Wight the majority of inmates are sex offenders so there must be much love and forgiveness for a visitor to make the long and awkward journey.

Each chapter ends with theological reflections in which the author uses biblical quotations and references. As a non-Bible-reading Quaker I had to resist the temptation to skim through these and am grateful for the interpretation they give to subjects I feel passionate about.

For someone to know that prison is where they will end their life and yet, in some cases, make the best of it, is surprising. But is it not surprising that many resort to drugs, self-harm or suicide. In a hospice, accepting the certainty of one’s own death is a challenge that requires the sort of care that the hospice offers. Both are helped by an environment that is supportive and caring.

In the last chapter, Deedes writes: ‘I am more convinced that learning to be comfortable in silence is the best way of preparing ourselves for death.’ This reminded me of a line by Diana Lampen in Quaker faith & practice 17.06: ‘Quakers do have something very special to offer the dying and the bereaved, namely that we are at home in silence.’

At one prison Deedes has a postcard of the criminal justice panel of the Quaker Tapestry: ‘Quakers believe that there is that of God in all people, though it is sometimes hard to find. Punishment ought to be a way of helping people realize the hurt they are doing to this sense of worth in themselves [and] in others.’

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