‘In the silence I brought my vanity and thoughtlessness into the Light.’
Rosie Carnall testifies on Sustainability
‘Be honest with yourself. What unpalatable truths might you be evading? When you recognise your shortcomings, do not let that discourage you. In worship together we can find the assurance of God’s love and the strength to go on with renewed courage’ (from Advices & queries 11).
I’ve been feeling lucky recently – the simple luck of convenience, when what I like aligns with what I think is good. Good for me and good for the planet.
This thought first arose when I was eating kale. It was what I had wanted to eat and it was delicious.
‘I’m so lucky,’ I thought, ‘that I like kale.’ It’s cheap, grows locally and is good for me. A simple, sustainable pleasure.
From this perspective I’m also lucky that I like riding my bike, love train journeys (the longer the better) and delight in buying second-hand clothes. I don’t have to do these things because I should, I just enjoy them. I was on the train once and wanted to buy something to drink. It had been a long day and the only bottle made of glass rather than plastic was the one containing prosecco…
Food, transport, clothes. I make choices about these things every day, and some of my choices align easily with our Quaker commitment to sustainability. Others don’t. We have two motor vehicles in our household, a campervan and a car. Does it make a difference that one of them belongs to my husband who isn’t a Friend? Too often the food I want to eat for lunch on the go is housed in plastic. Is it better that it’s generally the vegan option?
So, what do I do when my preferences don’t fit with my principles? When I want to do the work I’ve been offered in Italy and get back in time to be best man at a friend’s wedding? Me, a best man! I wanted to wear a trouser suit.
I ended up buying a suit on the high street (which was stressful – too much choice). And although I got the train to Italy, I flew home. The wedding was joyous but a week later I wore the jacket to Meeting and as I sat down in the silence a new awareness of the cost of it rose up in me. Who sewed these seams? What is their life like? Not so lucky, I fear. Affected more by climate change. In the silence I brought my vanity and thoughtlessness into the Light. I experienced that discomforting challenge that Quaker Meeting brings. That which I encounter in the silence holds me to account and sustains me. I bring my whole self into the stillness and sit with the plain knowledge of being loved despite my failings. I can do better in future.
It will take more than our personal choices to avert the climate emergency, it’s systemic change that can do that. But I find my way to a more a sustainable life through coming to Meeting for Worship to ground my choices in a fuller awareness of life’s deep joy. Not to strive to be ‘good’ but to live my best authentic life. To experience simple joy where it comes and to take responsibility for making change where change is needed.
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