Forgiveness: An exploration, by Marina Cantacuzino

Author: Marina Cantacuzino. Review by Tim Newell.

This is a significantly hopeful book for our time. We’ve been through the extended trauma of Covid (its impact on our health and our reaction to its mismanagement), and the continuing uncertainty and lack of confidence in our political leadership, direction and competence. The coarsening of public discourse and the increasingly punitive political culture leaves little room for sympathetic understanding, compassion and empathy. Meanwhile our society becomes ever more unequal and divided.

Marina Cantacuzino has been collecting stories of forgiveness for us for over twenty years. From this kaleidoscope of remarkable stories from all over the world, she has given us evidence that hatred can be transformed, and that we don’t need to remain divided. The stories are told with clarity and directness, and the inspiration from people’s experience of suffering and recovery shines through. She speaks to people who have considered forgiveness in different forms and settings. She talks to a survivor of Auschwitz, to someone who accidentally killed a friend, to people who have lost loved ones in acts of violence, and to a former combatant in Northern Ireland and the daughter of someone he murdered. Through her expert opinion and experience she remains open and understanding, inspiring us to remain the same.

Forgiveness is seen as a gift when it is experienced. Although there are descriptions of how the major faiths incorporate the concept, Cantacuzino helps us to see that we should never expect forgiveness, nor demand it. The work of exploration that takes place in prisons is touched on, as is the possibility of self-forgiveness more generally. From my experience, when Richard Harries, the former bishop of Oxford, led a seminar in Grendon Prison concerning forgiveness, the emphasis moved from being forgiven (hard to expect), to learning how to forgive oneself. Through their therapy and community living, prisoners began to see themselves as trustworthy, by being accountable for the harm they have caused.

At a time when we feel that many of the values that bind us together seem to be weakening, this book reasserts the dignity of human experience when met with catastrophe. The possibility of regaining decency through understanding and forgiveness remains a hope for us. Marina’s work with the Forgiveness Project has given us a reminder of the potential within all for transformation. Her book is an inspiring reminder of the potential for good in all.

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