For what it’s worth: Howard Grace meets Bharti Dhir

‘A remarkable testimony to the resilience of the human spirit.’

When she was twelve years old, Bharti Dhir was expelled from Uganda, along with many other Asians, by Idi Amin. She faced many other challenges in her childhood, any of which could have broken her. As a baby, she was abandoned at a roadside in the Ugandan heat, and was miraculously found by a passer-by. Of Punjabi-Sikh heritage, she experienced sexism and racism, and developed an incurable skin condition. In 1972, when her adoptive family were forced to flee to the UK, they were moved to a camp at Greenham Common with 1,600 others. More challenges and discrimination followed. In March, Bharti visited us at Newbury Meeting. Forty people, with a wide diversity of worldviews, came to our small Meeting house for the occasion.

Bharti’s story is a remarkable testimony to the resilience of the human spirit. She is now a social worker in Reading, specialising in child protection. She has also written a book, Worth, which captures well the spirit that has emerged in her. In the introduction she says, ‘If my journey helps to restore even the smallest sense of belief that no matter what life throws at you, you’re valuable and loved, it will have been worthwhile.’ Although not a Quaker, Bharti’s life experience inspired us to reach deep into our inner cores, to access what our own layers of strength might be.

One questioner asked how she had made the transition from being burdened by her life experiences to feeling free to share them to help others. Bharti spoke about wanting to share her life with her own adopted daughter, which had eventually led to writing the book. Another participant observed that those who’ve suffered most have most to give.

One particularly-striking story was of the incredible courage shown by Bharti’s adoptive mother. Bharti’s skin is a lot darker than that of the others in her family. When trying to leave Uganda, at a time when many people were being shot, a soldier with pointed gun said that Bharti was clearly not one of the family, so couldn’t leave with them. Bharti’s mother stood her ground, ‘If we leave, we leave with her. I’m not leaving her behind.’ There was a tense standoff. Eventually the soldier lowered his gun, smiled and said, ‘Okay, you can go. I salute your courage.’

Bharti writes that ‘Mum’s refusal to leave me behind made me feel so precious. She was prepared to sacrifice not just her life, but that of the whole family, too, for the sake of one. I was overwhelmed at the feeling of being truly valued, truly loved, and that I was worth dying for.’

Another attendee spoke about meeting contemporary asylum seekers. She wanted Bharti’s advice on what to do or say. Principally though, we all became conscious that, when we watch footage of refugees crossing the channel on small boats, among them could be people like Bharti.

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