'Perth, its capital city, is the most isolated city on earth. To the south is Antarctica and to the north is a great expanse of bush or outback.' Photo: by Joey Csunyo on Unsplash

‘It’s all incredibly clean, orderly, and quiet.’

Fair dinkum: Tony D’Souza goes down under

‘It’s all incredibly clean, orderly, and quiet.’

by Tony D’Souza 6th October 2023

Greetings from Australia. I am staying in Perth, Western Australia, as a paying guest of the local regional Meeting (Western Australia Regional Meeting – WARM). I am very grateful to them for the opportunity to experience contemporary Australian life. I hope this article will be the first of many; they are all made possible by, and dedicated to, the Friends of WARM.

Western Australia (WA) is one of six states which make up Australia, and is the biggest – most of western Europe could fit into Western Australia alone. England could fit into WA twenty-two times over. That’s big.

Perth, its capital city, is the most isolated city on earth. To the south is Antarctica and to the north is a great expanse of bush or outback. It is a beautiful city, full of shopping malls and perfectly kept suburbs. I am glad to say all those years watching Neighbours on TV have not been wasted. Nobody does suburbia like the Australians. Beautiful one-storey houses in tree-lined streets, with parks and open spaces and a faint smell of eucalyptus everywhere. It’s all incredibly clean, orderly, and quiet. I once saw a lady come out of her house to pick up a single leaf, which had had the temerity to fall in the middle of her perfect lawn. You might think that a bit over the top, a bit Stepford Wives, but, believe me, most people in the UK over forty would love to live in suburbs like these. If they’re over fifty, they would probably give a limb or two.

The roads are full of serious-looking four-wheel-drive cars, built for travelling in the outback. They carry shovels and a pop-up tent on a trailer. You can tell the ones that have come back from the bush because they are covered in red dust. These ‘Utes’ are often driven by tough-looking bushwhacker types in khaki shorts and cowboy hats. Some are as tough as they look, but don’t be fooled by the stereotype, not all of them are spit-in-the-dust hooligans. Many have degrees in engineering or geology, and table manners that your aunt would approve of.

Australia was once a colony, but that was a long time ago. Australians were never oppressed by England’s rigid class system and, being so remote, have evolved their own society. They believe in ‘a fair go’ or giving everyone a chance, which, setting aside the issue of aboriginal rights,  has made this a very egalitarian society. There is no point in feeling superior to anybody or trying to pigeon-hole someone by their accent because there is no social hierarchy. This is remarkably liberating. Once you let go of the class system you are free to be yourself and join in.

Things are not perfect here, however. There is a serious problem with methamphetamine (crystal meth). Australia tops the list for meth use, and Perth is the meth capital of Australia. Once hooked, it is very difficult to get clean. Although the use of meth affects only a tiny minority of young people, it’s tragic to see the devastation this drug causes within families and to the whole community.


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