Eye - 5 April 2019

From informal gatherings of Friends to Fleabag and Catastrophe

Finding fellowship

At the beginning of March a group of Young Quakers organised an informal weekend in Derbyshire. Fred Lenox-Conyngham shared the picture below with Eye and explained: ‘We hired a house, splitting the cost, and relaxed, played games and enjoyed each other’s company…

‘We met over the years at various young Quakers’ events such as Yearly Meeting Gathering, Junior Yearly Meeting (JYM), Senior Conference and Junior Young Friends (JYF) and are now in our twenties.’

Group members have kept in touch in a number of ways over the years.

Mamadu reflected: ‘The emergence of social media group chats has been a massive help.’

Alice said: ‘In the beginning we would write letters, which was always really nice.’

David commented: ‘I really don’t think you can beat seeing people face-to-face. We’ve got the sort of friendships where you don’t need to (but can) talk all the time but we’re quite happy to pick up where we left off.’

But is there anything distinct about Quaker friendships?

Lucy said: ‘It’s kind of like having a group of childhood friends – we’ve known each other for years and so we have a history to inform our relationships now – however, everyone has grown up to be really nice people so it’s not like the kind of childhood friend you avoid at a wedding.’

David added: ‘I remember one of us saying that Quaker friendships felt special as they had the warmth of more everyday relationships without a lot of the work of them. I think that’s still true.’

Mamadu commented: ‘The religious element, whilst important, is also kind of irrelevant for me personally. I definitely make a distinction between Quaker friends and people I meet throughout life in that I have been instilled with very similar values, norms and morals, however, this is not the sole reason I hang out with them.’

Amy agreed: ‘Whilst the religious element isn’t the forefront, we do all clearly still have similar moral compasses and we discuss important, and often difficult, matters. I feel like this must be linked to our shared Quaker background and influences around us.’

Fred reflected: ‘Whilst a lot of us rarely attend Meeting now, if at all, meeting up every so often in informal settings solidifies Quakerism as an important part of our upbringing.

‘I think Quakerism is something I will return to properly when I’m a bit older, and it’s meeting up with my Quaker friends from time to time that makes this all the more likely.’

Fleabag and Friends

The dry wit and portrayal of grief in BBC Three’s Fleabag recently got a dose of Quakerism.

Series two has seen the main character develop a close relationship with a Catholic priest. In episode four, which aired on 25 March, they attend a Quaker Meeting, staged using extras in Westminster Meeting House.

Fleabag reflects: ‘If the Spirit moves you to speak, you have to stand up and share it with everyone. It’s very intense. It’s very quiet. It’s very, very… erotic.’

This unusual description and her ministry of ‘I sometimes worry I’d be less of a feminist if I had bigger tits’ may quirk a Quaker eyebrow or two.

Holly Williams, who was brought up a Quaker, wrote in the i newspaper: ‘First Rob in Channel 4’s Catastrophe, on a self-improvement drive, started attending Quaker Meetings. Then this week, Fleabag followed… The Quakers, with their turning inwards to connect with something more eternal and profound – not to mention offering an hour without the buzz of social media, urgent emails and WhatsApp alerts – have an obvious appeal in such confusing and over-stimulated times.’

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