Eye - 16 January 2015

From haiku to satirical lyrics

Two haiku

A haiku is a traditional Japanese three-line poem with seventeen syllables.

Moments in Meeting have inspired Maureen Jewell, of Blue Idol Meeting, to turn her hand to this centuries-old poetic form.

The two haiku are ‘thoughts on our continuing pilgrimage away from the Blue Idol, after eighteen months still undergoing extensive repairs’.

Village hall, strange room,
exiles from our Meeting house
yet we are at home.

Raindrops pattering
accompanying the silence
today’s ministry.

Muted ministry

Do you struggle with mumbled ministry in Meeting? Well, recent ruminations on just this issue resulted in a rhyme from Roy Payne, of Ludlow Meeting.

He writes: ‘At a recent exercise at Ludlow… on inaudible ministry, an unwise overseer remarked, “What we really need is one of Roy’s limericks”.’

Never one to demure from a challenge, Roy rose to the occasion:

On ministry

Some guidance that’s well worth repeating.
‘On rising to minister in Meeting,
Speak up and be clear,
For if we can’t hear
Your message, it’s just self-defeating.’

Satirical sing-song

Languishing lyrics were dusted down and delivered to Eye’s mailbag. Paul Honigmann was prompted by Michael Goodwin’s article, ‘British values?’ (24 October 2014).

‘A few years ago I wrote the libretto for a musical (never performed!) whose theme was attitudes to immigration. It seemed to me that “British values” can only mean values exclusive to the British and not shared with citizens of other countries.’

The song, to be sung ‘with fervour’ to the tune of ‘Onward Christian Soldiers’, includes tidbits such as:

‘God bless British values, the backbone of the State,
God bless British values, which made Great Britain great.
Because you are superior, adopt a moral tone;
It isn’t mass hysteria to claim them as your own…

‘Table manners symbolise the British way of life;
How to hold a tea cup, a soup spoon, fork and knife.
Play hard, but always play the game, and form an orderly queue,
And smile with a stiff upper lip and somehow muddle through…

‘Disobey laws you dislike; regard yourselves exempt.
Each hour discuss the weather; treat culture with contempt.
Dream of wars won long ago; the Empire at its peak;
Pretend the English language is the only one you speak.’

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