The sense of the call, of being called, is part of our Quaker DNA . . . Photo: WillSowards / flickr CC
Experiment with Light: A spiritual practice
Gerald Hewitson continues the series on Experiment with Light
In the beginning of the year 1655, I was at the plough in the east parts of Yorkshire in Old England, near the place where my outward being was; and, as I walked after the plough, I was filled with the love and presence of the living God, which did ravish my heart when I felt it, for it did increase and abound in me like a living stream, so did the life and love of God run through me like precious ointment giving a pleasant smell, which made me to stand still. Marmaduke Stevenson Quaker Faith & Practice 19.17
The sense of the call, of being called, is part of our Quaker DNA. Once heard, the call has a life- changing impact:
‘If you build upon anything or have confidence in anything which stands in time and is on this side [of] eternity and [the] Being of beings, your foundation will be swept away, and night will come upon you, and all your gathered-in things and taken-on and imitated will all fail you… Why gad you abroad? Why trim you yourselves with the saints’ words, when you are ignorant of the life? Return, return to Him that is the first Love, and the first-born of every creature, who is the Light of the world… Return home to within… and here you will see your Teacher not removed into a corner, but present when you are upon your beds and about your labour, convincing, instructing, leading, correcting, judging and giving peace to all that love and follow Him.’
Francis Howgill, 1656
Quaker Faith & Practice 26.71
Howgill knows – in his deepest, innermost being he knows – that he has met the centre and foundation of all life. Such an encounter leads to one’s life being turned upside down, drawing closer to those who know each other in those things which are eternal, and gladly working in response to inner prompting: the Quaker call leads to transformation, community and service. One cannot predict the call, or demand the encounter – but one can prepare oneself by expectant waiting. Such preparation implies regular sustained practice, a discipline (from Latin disciplina: teaching, learning) above and beyond Meeting for Worship. Experiment with Light is just such a practice.
As a community
This is not how it all seemed to me when our Meeting invited a Friend to lead us in a day long session of Experiment with Light. What happened that day was powerful enough, individually and corporately, for a number us to want to continue the practice, which offers opportunities both for individual experience and group sharing.
At different times it is clear that the depth and intensity of the private experience varies – I have been given strong, affirmative visions of immense love and tenderness; at other times I have been challenged to metaphorically walk into the fire; at yet others, I have fallen asleep. On all these occasions, I have never lost the sense of being nurtured, upheld, of being carried through points when I was not ready for intense encounter at depth.
It is not the only spiritual practice of the members of our group: some of us undertake meditation sessions or journal regularly. But there is a power in Experiment with Light because it feels so rooted in Quaker tradition. There is also a strength and energy to be gained from the group.
We were aware that, in some Meetings, Experiment with Light has been a source of division. Our experience is that it has helped our Meeting to grow in depth. Since about half the Meeting has shared some of our deepest experiences with each other, when we come together in Meeting for Worship we meet as a community caring for and upholding each other because we know each other in ‘those matters which are eternal’. This is not to ignore or deny the great differences that exist between individuals and their circumstances. Some people carry a disproportionate burden of pain or difficulty. Through Experiment with Light many of us have been able to take this pain into the silence, finding a way to share our sorrows. Indeed it seems to me that there is a close link between the spiritual journey and inner healing. They may not be synonymous, but it seems an essential part of a search for Truth and Integrity (from Latin integritatem: soundness, wholeness, blamelessness) that we pay attention to our deepest sense of who we are, and what motivates us. Much deep searching is required in order that we become our true self, fit for service in the world; I take great strength and reassurance that the first act Jesus performs in the Gospel of Mark is the casting out of devils.
Personal experiences
This encounter of oneself at great depth, in order to encounter that which lies beyond us – ‘that of God in us’ – might appear like a psychotherapeutic programme. Encountering one’s deepest symbols, finding and giving voice to one’s deepest motivations and desires, and bringing these into the Light might appear challenging, even frightening. I take heart from the first of our Advices & Queries:
‘Take heed, dear Friends, to the promptings of love and truth in your hearts. Trust them as the leadings of God whose Light shows us our darkness and brings us to new life.’
Working alone together
Let me close with a quote from Ira Progoff. He is writing about his own work, but what he says seems to me to apply equally to Experiment with Light:
‘Spiritual contact, the awareness of the profounder meanings of life and experience of its symbols, is an individual endeavour that can be carried through only in the silence of one’s privacy. It is work that each individual has to do alone, but it is helpful to know that many of us are working alone together. It is helpful also to understand that we do not all have to hold the same beliefs in order for us to contribute an atom of spirit to the human atmosphere. It seems important that as many persons as possible do their private inner work as deeply as they can. For that we require a methodology that can be used in the modern age by individuals whatever their faith or lack of faith, and whatever their level of intellectual development and personal interest.’
In Experiment with Light we Quakers have such a methodology, a process that we can own and that speaks to our condition. Through it, individually we can be shown new Light, and in that process become full, whole, integrated people: we can be transformed; ‘and this I knew Experimentally’.
