Escaping victimhood

Tim Newell writes about a growing concern

After Sarah’s son was hacked to death she found that she could no longer see in colour. Years later, on the Escaping Victimhood workshop, she realised she could see a small blue flower – her colours had returned. She has now written about her experiences in a book.  When Emily’s son was killed by a joy rider she was consumed by the need to understand how this could have happened. After the workshop she found the strength to go to the prison and meet her son’s killer. It turned out he was just a young lad too, who was badly in need of a hug.

Providing support

Escaping Victimhood is a unique programme that has been designed to help people affected by the trauma of serious crime. A traumatic event, such as the murder of a close relative or a personal attack, can have repercussions far beyond the immediate impact and often become a defining moment in a victim’s life. The consequences can also affect every aspect of day to day living, such as the ability to work, physical and mental health, relationships with family members and so on.

Awareness of this need became a Quaker concern and led to the work being located in Old Jordans, the Quaker Conference Centre in south Buckinghamshire. It provided the ideal, peaceful setting. Those involved were supported and nurtured by local Meetings and the Old Jordans trustees. Trustees developed an approach, based on restorative justice principles, working with several criminal justice professionals, to meet the needs of those affected by serious crime. When the Old Jordans Trust was sadly wound up in 2005 the work continued under the auspices of the Thames Valley Partnership, a community safety charity. The work has moved from being Quaker led and is now established as an independent charity with much Quaker involvement and support. Like many other enterprises in the criminal justice sphere, the inspiration came from Friends but became mainstreamed through working with others. The Escaping Victimhood programme now works to help those traumatised by crime to move from being a victim to being a survivor. It aims to help people reclaim their lives.

Escaping Victimhood workshops

The workshops are residential, experiential, four day events with four distinct approaches: firstly, a thorough overview of the concept of trauma with detailed reference to the literature delivered by an experienced trauma counsellor; secondly, the didactic delivery of two personal coaching models – a model of change and change management, and a model of personality – with the completion and scoring of an inventory; thirdly, the provision of a body therapy massage opportunity, with the link made to the incorporation of trauma into physical attitudes; fourthly, other artistic and structured recreational opportunities such as photography, art and more general social facilitation.

The programme is overseen by the lead facilitator, a highly experienced victim liaison worker, which ensures strong and safe leadership of the workshop. Participants also have the opportunity of ‘one to ones’ with facilitators of their choice.

A significant principle of the model is that self disclosure is neither an expectation nor a requirement for participation. The structure of the programme is psycho-educative and therapeutic (with a small t) in a generic rather than specific sense. For those who wish to articulate their story, the facilitators are able to accommodate this, mainly in ‘one to one’ meetings.

The impact on victims

Many of the participants have identified, in feedback, that taking part has been a life changing experience. The participants also tend to stay in contact with each other, forming informal support networks. The impact of the workshop on those who attend is marked and long lasting. Some feedback includes:

‘Before the workshop I can only describe myself as depressed, confused, no self worth, questioning “why me?”’

‘I attended every one of the events, feeling more comfortable with myself and knowing everyone knew what everyone else felt. With the best intentions of friends and family, if you have not experienced the trauma of violent crime, you cannot possibly understand.’
‘The support of the team gave me hope, enabling me to move on and not be a victim. Every victim of crime should have the right to experience the help that the workshop gave me. I can never thank you enough.’

‘Without the workshop I would never had come to terms with what happened to me.’

Quaker values

In keeping with Quaker experience of developing projects that meet a need, but on which no one else is working, certain features can be observed in the life of Escaping Victimhood so far. The work came about as a result of a disciplined process of discernment, a realisation of unmet need and a search for a process to meet it.

Seeing that of God in everyone reflects the assumption that all who come to our workshops have the capacity and motivation to use the time to meet their needs, although some have found this hard due to additional stresses upon them and difficulty trusting others.

Those who worked through the issues were prepared to take time to work out a response to the need.

The future

The work continues with support from the government’s National Homicide Service but, inevitably, the need is greater than we can currently provide for. The workshops are costly – but not in relation to the impact they have on the lives of those who come. Many who come to us have been trapped for years and are now released from the paralysing fear of uncertainty and of the effects of trauma upon them. Knowing there is a way through the pain has provided many with a beacon of hope that has not failed so far. We remain convinced that the strength within each person can restore them to fuller functioning through the healing hand of friendship that the workshop provides.

Escaping Victimhood workshops provide opportunities for compassion and learning within a peaceful setting. The principles of Quaker insight and understanding have led many to gain strength and find purpose when they thought all was lost.

For further information: www.escapingvictimhood.com

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Comments

I can vouch personally for both the need and effectiveness of ‘Escaping Victimhood’, having benefitted enormously from attending the most recent E.V. workshop at Woodbrooke in November, where I was ‘the only Quaker in the village’. It was incidentally also so good to see how impressed both the participants and facilitators were by the Quaker ethos. I hope Friends can support this initiative.

By John & Sally B on 9th February 2012 - 12:14

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