Embarrassment of riches: Abigail Maxwell on worship

‘Friends, we have a great treasure entrusted to us.’

The Earth is on track to be too warm for human civilisation to continue, and Poland is accommodating over two million Ukrainian refugees. Meanwhile, Quakers in Britain debate what to call the people formerly known as elders and overseers, whether membership should be reformed again, and still, sometimes, whether nontheists should be members of a ‘Religious’ society. Why are our numbers going down, exactly?

Two decades ago, when I could no longer bear to worship God disguised as a man, and felt driven out of my parish church, I came to Quakers. Rejected or fearing rejection everywhere else, I felt welcome. When I first went to Business Meeting, clerked by a man I still feel in awe of, I was surprised to find that it wasn’t boring. When conducted in a spirit of worship, with inspired ministry, it isn’t.

Then I went away with the Local Meeting to a retreat centre. In worship I realised how beautiful everyone was. I saw for the first time beauty in grey hair and veins on the backs of hands, of people made in the image of God. It was one of many religious experiences I have had with Quakers, who have changed my life. As my chronic suicidal thoughts receded, perhaps Quakers even extended that life.

I have just been away with Quakers to another retreat centre. I played ball with a child in the sunshine in the garden. I helped make a film. I flirted a little. After asking, I hugged. I heard of the work of one Local Meeting to raise money and assemble skills to support a traumatised refugee family, and had a yoga teacher correct my posture sitting and standing. I feel blessed and enriched. Friends talked about how to encourage people to attend Area Meeting, and one Friend has a plan. We had some lovely small group discussions, and delightful conversation over meals. As we worshipped on Sunday morning I considered the beauty of my Friends, and why I love individuals there, and also some of their distress and perplexity.

The Kingdom of Heaven is within each of us, said Jesus (Gospel of Thomas, saying 113, or Luke 17:21). I help facilitate the Zoom worship organised by Woodbrooke and Friends World Committee for Consultation. I hope I do my part in promoting order, reverence and harmony, so that the worship may nourish those who come tired or spiritually cold, but I have no responsibility for organisation.

Recently some of us discussed how much we love the Zoom worship, who have rarely or never entered a Quaker Meeting house. Why not? Well, we are trans, or neuro-diverse, or working class. Yet we are committed to Zoom worship. We sit in silence, and speak when moved.

Friends, we have a great treasure entrusted to us, and we must not bury it in the ground, but share it. We know that God is in every individual human being and, sometimes, we act as if we believe it. We sit in silence together, and we speak when moved. This means resisting the temptation to speak when not moved – not saying what merely seems like a good idea, or sounds Quakerly, or might make us appear good to ourselves. We are beautiful already.

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