‘Bridgebuilding’, by Alastair McKay

Review by Richard Seebohm

This book was launched at St Ethelburga’s in the City of London. The church was rebuilt from the ruined shell that was left after the Bishopsgate IRA bomb of 1993. As a centre for reconciliation it claims four striking values: crisis as an opportunity for change; spiritual values into action; collaborating across differences; and protecting the sacred. Each of these may give Quakers pause for thought.

Alastair McKay is an Anglican priest who learned conflict resolution as a Mennonite from John Paul Lederach, among others. His focus is on conflict within Christianity in the British Isles. Conflict may be more visible outside the churches, but inside their sanctified surroundings there may be plenty of ‘things we don’t want to talk about’.

Resolution has to be personal: know thyself and know the ‘other’. Troubled relationships almost always bring to light the presence and exercise of power. That power may be hierarchical but it may also be exercised by an accused who will not speak. The author spends time here mapping the personality characteristics that lead individuals into various sorts of role. With this in mind, you can turn to the issues in your particular situation. At first they may be unrecognised, latent. Once exposed you reach a stage of confrontation. If breakdown or even outright violence are to be avoided, you must find an entry point for negotiation. That may not work at first if there is a wider problem not yet faced. You must identify whose interests or concerns are at stake and where the real needs of all parties lie.

Then there is the role of the mediator. The mediator cannot afford to have a standpoint on the underlying issue. Getting everyone comfortable with silence (not so hard for Quakers) is a helpful tool. Beyond this is physical contact ‘laying on of hands’, or merely hand to hand (perhaps a bigger step for us). The mediator must recognise how group members are reacting, and how they might react if exposed to a different toolkit. But some deeper issues, arising, for example, from mental illness or law, may be beyond the competencies of the mediator.

The book is brought alive by its case studies. In Anglican situations the solution may be resolved by a person – or parson – finding some other environment in which to thrive. They also include instances when the author himself had to walk away. The obligation to love your enemy is then a journey to be taken, even if constructive relationships cannot be rebuilt. And mediation isn’t stress free. To let your life speak in this way is a privilege, but you need to pray for support and for personal peace. Try not to operate alone. The book has dialogue contributions by a range of religious leaders to whom Alastair has turned for support. He offers scripture-based backing for his chosen themes. His four ‘Friendly Style Profiles’ for personality analysis, drawn from Mennonite experience, were enough on their own for me.

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