‘I had to acknowledge that my will could increase inequalities.’ Photo: by Philip Veater on Unsplash

‘I might not approve of the way any money I leave is used.’

A will and a way: Sandra Dutson considers inheritance

‘I might not approve of the way any money I leave is used.’

by Sandra Dutson 25th August 2023

I made my will in 2008, and sorted power of attorney a few years later. My primary consideration was that my daughters would find dealing with my affairs as straightforward as possible. The will gave more or less three equal shares to my two daughters and Christian Aid. Although I think there are occasions when family commitments need to take priority, I do not subscribe to the idea that ‘family comes first’. I have supported Christian Aid for over fifty years because seeing all people as neighbours, and recognising that we are part of one world, is fundamental to me. I respect how Christian Aid supports emergency assistance, along with its long-term support, education about the root causes of poverty, and campaigning. I also like its grassroots connections. In a short letter to my daughters (to be given when appropriate) I suggested, depending on how much remains at my death, some money should be donated to charities and organisations from my daughters’ shares. I trust them.

My three grandchildren are now in their teens, however, and I realised recently that it may well be them who receive what might be quite generous amounts of money. As I reflected on this, I had to acknowledge that my will, in a small way, could increase the inequalities in our society.  Greater equality is a crucial foundation for a good life, and we urgently need to become more equal as a society. We need resources to repair our public services, and to transition to a low carbon economy. I am no millionaire, but might my will tip the balance in a very small way?

Some of my ‘own’ wealth has been inherited. I have tried to use it in a way that honoured the people who left it to me. I have been able to give generously to organisations I support, and assist family members and other individuals. But I might not approve of the way any money I leave is used. Expectations of family inheritance can be a mixed blessing. I know of people who have deliberately not made provision for children or grandchildren, as they felt that that was really not good for them. But having that responsibility and freedom can be an opportunity for development. I love my children and grandchildren dearly, and would like to feel they would respond to that love in the way they chose to use any inherited money, and that it would inspire both generosity and wisdom.

I have spoken of this dilemma to a few friends and find it a common assumption that wealth is passed on in the family, perhaps with a smaller amount being specified for a ‘cause’ dear to the heart of the person concerned. I would be really interested to know how other Quakers in similar positions have reached any decisions. I know that many people are not in this rather privileged position –that is indeed part of the way that inequalities grow.


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