'I am frustrated by the sudden willingness of governments to open their borders to white Europeans when they have been closed to brown and black people.' Photo: by Marissa Daeger on Unsplash
A welcome change? Kate McNally on Ukrainian refugees
‘This is not their whole life, it’s a difficult part that is not finished.’
Like many I have been struggling with how to help with the influx of refugees from Ukraine. My particular struggle is with the fact that they are being welcomed very differently from others.
I find myself outraged by the racism in the coverage. I am frustrated by the sudden willingness of governments to open their borders to white Europeans when they have been closed to brown and black people. In the UK for example, Eurostar will give free tickets to Ukrainians, and the UK government is offering £350 a month to host Ukrainians. When the refugees were Syrian, potential hosts were required to raise thousands of pounds. When the refugees are African, their transport is on small boats. They are housed in abandoned hotels and barracks for months or years before asylum claims are processed.
I have not joined the vigils for Ukraine. I keep asking ‘Where are those same vigils for Syria? Afghanistan? Palestine? Yemen? Darfur? South Sudan?’ Instead of being happy that so many are willing to help I find myself wondering where they have been in the last few years.
But Ukrainians also need support, and welcoming the stranger is holy work. How can I support Ukrainians without supporting the racism behind their different welcome? How can I welcome the stranger without taking away from the work that I am already doing? Maybe I can help by supporting those who are new to this work. I can pass on what I have learned. Here, then, is some of that:
Respect the dignity of people who have no possessions left. This is not their whole life, it’s a difficult part that is not finished. Nobody wants to be somebody else’s project. Don’t insist on doing things that people can do for themselves. Give them agency wherever possible. Listen when someone wants to talk, but remember that no one owes you their story (this is an important boundary). Find games to play that don’t require vocabulary. Twister and Jenga are good fun. Cook with them, not for them: sharing food is an essential human interaction. Let them show you their food and, through that, their culture. It will be different from yours. Learn a few words of Ukrainian. Teach them your language. Find ways they can give back to you without being your servant. For example, someone with a little English can translate for someone who has none. Ask them what they need, but also watch. Not everyone is good at articulating needs, or willing to ask for help. Don’t look for gratitude or smiles. They will feel pressure to be grateful, but also resentment that they are in this position. Let them mourn the life they had. God’s hands brought them to you and for the time being you are the hands that God has to help them. When it’s time, you will release them back into God’s hands. Build a community to help you in this work. Find others who are doing this and share your experiences. Learn from theirs.
Above all, take good care of yourself. You will begin to feel some of the trauma that they are experiencing. Find a way to shed that. They need you whole. Be prepared to be changed and enriched.
