A sense of belonging
Caddi Ranyard reflects on her personal encounter with Quakerism, a search for belonging and the closing of a Meeting
Where would I belong? Originally, I was accepted into membership in Settle Monthly Meeting and had worshipped at many different Meetings. Later, when I moved to Rochdale, I visited several Meetings before settling down at Hebden Bridge Meeting.
It is ironic, really, that I then attended one Meeting where there were only four members, who were probably in their thirties and forties. They were an active Meeting but I did not join them. I wanted a larger Meeting that would offer me discussion groups and opportunities to learn more. Later, I moved to Blackpool. I had intended to travel around the area and find a Meeting that would fit. In my search for a ‘home’ Meeting I visited Blackpool Meeting, which at the time was thriving, even though the average age was much higher than I was used to.
I was a bit dubious at first. They looked such a conservative bunch. I wondered how they would accept a person who was an out bisexual; a person who was only slowly getting used to ‘God’ language and someone who had very little understanding of the Bible.
I soon learned that not only were they not what they seemed but that they were less interested in making judgements than I was. It was humbling.
So close were we
After a few months I was definitely a member of Blackpool Meeting. Like any Meeting, each member had their own interest. I grew to understand them and love them all. I could talk glowingly about each one of them, but it would not help you understand how lovely these people were.
They were friendly and welcoming and very knowledgeable. I learned so much from these wonderful Friends, from an understanding of certain biblical passages (and a love of those too), to a comprehension of what universalism means. We laughed a lot together. I was so grateful to have been able to share so much with them.
It was sad that, gradually, we lost some of them: several were not able to attend through illness or frailty and then some died. I felt that we were losing our family members, so close were we.
Down to just five
We had got down to just five of us when one told us she was going to leave because she was no longer nourished by the Meeting. It was a shock and very painful to hear this said out loud. I think we all felt much the same but had not said so.
I was probably not the only one to be getting a little desperate as I knew things were going wrong with the Meeting. Although I attended the excellent ‘Inspiring Small Meetings’ course at Woodbrooke and came back filled with some inspiration, it was shortlived.
For several years we had only two or three at a Meeting and sometimes only one. I remember arriving one day and seeing the Meeting house door shut. I realised that this meant I was on my own. I just couldn’t face, that day, sitting for a whole hour on my own so I waited for about twenty minutes in my car, with my eye on the door, before leaving. I felt such a failure. I know that other members had been in the same position and had sat the hour out.
Moving on
We have spent the last two years meeting only once a month on the fourth Sunday. We have been supported by members of the Area Meeting who have joined our worship and shared lunch. On the other Sundays we have travelled to other Meetings and joined them in worship. We have been extremely fortunate to have a member who has looked after the Meeting house, but we can’t keep burdening him with that.
We feel that the Meeting has already gone. It is only right that we move on. It is a real sadness to us all, and not a decision that we have taken lightly, but we were all four of us in unity when we met to discuss it, and Area Meeting compassionately authorised the closure of Blackpool Meeting.
Area Meeting trustees will decide what to do with the building, but the building is not the Meeting. We have already got strong links with other Local Meetings and they have welcomed us. I am touched by the care and support of the Area Meeting and of Quakers around the country who have phoned us because they have heard.
Life and service
This is not a failure. It is not the end. As we said in our life and service report:
Our life as a Meeting feels as if it is coming to an end, but our service isn’t. We will be subsumed into other religious communities or Meetings where we will each contribute to their life and service.
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