'...a wonderful simile of the inevitability of tides destroying the children’s sandcastles.' Photo: Belinda Novika / flickr CC.
A long way down
Elizabeth Flanagan is moved by a new poetry book
The title poem of Averil Stedeford’s The Long Way Down: Poems of Grief and Hope sets the tone for this recently published collection of poetry. It is simple, explicit and accessible, yet contains personal and poignant truths.
‘The Long Way Down’ was written when the poet and her husband had received the news ‘for this cancer nothing can be done’. The poem describes how her husband had been tempted to take a short cut to the ‘steep drop past jagged rocks’. Instead:
‘… holding close we re-pledged our love,
thankful that we chose the long way down.’
I was touched by the reality of the ‘Shadow’ reminding us that even:
‘a happy man has a shadow.
This stayed at home, fell on us.’
The poems ‘One Loo Roll’ and ‘Lonely’ remind the reader of the reality of loss and widowhood, for ‘only the NHS observes my nakedness’. The humour of ‘Double Delight’ gives permission to all who grieve to enjoy ourselves, too.
Section three of the collection contains the poems written while the poet was working at Sir Michael Sobell House Hospice in Oxford as a therapist and teacher of palliative care. ‘The Last Invitation’ contains a wonderful simile of the inevitability of tides destroying the children’s sandcastles. Or ‘Does it destroy? Dare we believe it’s the last invitation to play?’
The poems inspired by a depressed patient, ‘If Wheelchair were a Pram’ and ‘New Wheels’, remind us that the right equipment and support can lighten the last journey as ‘only the useless body went through the chapel door’.
The poem ‘The Red Hat’ resonated with me as I am sometimes told ‘No tears now’ and I reply: ‘I’ll cry if I want to. You’re worth it.’ I know that trite advertising slogan never fails to irritate. The poem tells us that:
‘your tears will be like water / a potter throws on clay / to ease the changing form’.
Averil Stedeford’s Christian theology is apparent in several poems, but I found the most moving to be ‘The Priest’, as a cup of tea given to a dying man becomes a memory of sacraments given and received.
I must own that the poet has befriended me and welcomed me to her room in her care home, looking up to the Malvern Hills. Often she has shared a poem and asked for my response, explaining how she came to write it. Her clear thinking mind cuts through some of my confused thinking and makes sense of my experiences.
The Long Way Down: Poems of Grief and Hope by Averil Stedeford is available from the Quaker Bookshop at Friends House for £6 plus postage and packing. ISBN: 9781912078684. All profits go to hospice, cancer and bereavement charities.
