Thought for the Week: Waiting on the Light
Brenda Claxton shares her experience of waiting on the Light
Just sitting. Just waiting. Trusting the Light. This is not an easy thing to do, especially when I find myself in limbo with nothing much going on.
When thoughts stray into this space, which inevitably they do, they are often of the variety that tells me I am not on track. I should be doing more, or better. I silence these destructive criticisms and continue.
Often, maybe the day before, I will mull over what I might bring to the light of consciousness the next afternoon, but, as I sit, these problems seem unimportant. I just wait with my mind open, or as open as I can make it, allowing the Light to enter my soul and, most importantly, trusting. Trust the Light. Trust the process. Without trust I could not allow myself to let go, could not allow the experience to slowly develop at its own pace without demanding results from myself; just waiting.
And so I do. The difficulties or problems that emerge may not be those I planned to consider. I find they often do not have a clear shape. The group leader repeats the words ‘Trust in the Light’ once again and now I am able to let go of my demanding intellect and allow a process beyond my control to proceed. As with nature, this process does not travel at a constant speed or on a direct pathway. Unexpected ideas emerge.
During a recent session I realised I have a loving centre to my being but also a necessary, strong self and these two often come into conflict with each other. The Light shows my need to bring them into balance and harmony. That part is clear but most of what goes on can be unclear, taking place at a level below consciousness. At the end I may not feel I am in a better place but I have let the Light into my life, and I have trusted the Light.
When I make a loaf of bread the yeast acts on an unseen plane. It is neither visible nor separate from the rest of the ingredients. The yeast leavens the bread by working together with all the ingredients: flour, water, oil and the teaspoonful of salt. Salt is vital, as it stops the yeast overacting and causing the bread to rise too fast; salt acts as a balance to the life of the yeast, keeping the dough within the bounds of the bowl.
So it is, I believe, with the process of working with the Light. We don’t properly comprehend the multitude of interactions that are set in motion when sitting in the Light with the group. But if we are able to sit and trust the Light then changes can happen. The results may be unexpected and not always easy to accept.
I have come to accept that when we trust the Light the positive, creative aspects of our consciousness are energised. We are safe because we are part of a living process. Whether you call the Light ‘God’ is unimportant. We are allowing the spirit of creation to enter our lives.
Growth and decay are both elements of life, elements of creative life, and sitting in the Light allows us to actively open ourselves to this creative process.
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