When diagnosed with cancer, Claire Rayner spoke of the ‘tyranny of positive thinking’ – the expectation that when facing life-threatening illness we will refuse to consider the possibility of death until the very last moment. The ‘Quaker Concern on Death and Dying’ network, by contrast, encourages exploration of difficult questions arising from the realities of failing health, death and dying.

Approximately seventy people gathered to hear Alison Leonard and other members of the network speak from their own experience:

• Val spoke of how her mother’s lingering death might have been eased if she had known that she could refuse the medication she was offered. Val suggested this information should be given to anyone with an Advance Directive (Living Will), and explained how her experiences had led her to join the British charity EXIT.

• Jill’s contribution (read in her absence), began with Advices and queries 30, to ‘contemplate your death and the death of those close to you’. She explained how her contemplation had moved on from the legal and practical stuff to de-cluttering her life, visiting siblings abroad, and ultimately experiencing a greater connection with the creative energy that for her represents the divine.

• Hazel spoke of having sat all night with her daughter and her mother, talking and telling stories, as her father slowly died. She explained how this had led her to train as a Soul Midwife, using elements from many traditions to provide a loving, safe space to support the dying in experiencing as good a death and soul transition as possible.

After some moving personal contributions from those attending, Alison addressed the question of life after death, recounting her experiences of continuing connection with departed family and friends. She suggested that if we can include death in the entirety of our consciousness then we will be open to more ways of healing than we could otherwise dream of.

This was London Quaker dialogue 7.

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